If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.
Cheryl Richardson.
Reflecting on the times I refused to rock the boat.
Stir the pot. Ruffle feathers.
I didn’t dare to disappoint.
Hurt him. Let them down.
Instead, I sacrificed.
Myself. My Soul. My Sanity.
And for what?
Their comfort? Their security? Their safety?
I set aside my worth. Devalued my values.
I traded my power for their purpose and pleasure.
My tongue bound tightly with fear.
Then, the moment came.
A moment I longed for as much as I dreaded.
My moment.
I was shoved into the corner, wedged between my stories… and my truth.
Simmering in a pool of compromising wants & needs.
If I didn’t act, I’d drown.
I screamed for help. No one could hear me.
The only one who could save me, was myself.
The trembling came from deep inside.
All I had to do was utter the sentence I’d been replaying over and over again in my mind.
Freedom. I could almost taste it.
One last breath of the person I was — to carry me into the person I was becoming.
My choice. My action.
I closed my eyes.
I granted myself permission.
The truth that had been hiding on the tip of my tongue for so long, finally… made tangible.
I rose above the uncertainty. This wasn’t a matter of winning or losing. This was survival. My survival.
I owned it. I said it. My spirit soared!
And, they heard me. Like an ax splitting a log of wood. Whether they liked it or not, I rewrote the ending.
My story had shifted.
As I released the prisoner within, she collapsed to the floor, exhausted with serenity.
I surrendered. I won my war.
My inner voice vanished.
My inner warrior screamed “victory!”
No longer would the silence keep me so small.
Inward, I smiled.
A weight off my shoulders.
A huge breath of air.
I was free.
❤️
