Here Now, There Then
It’s been so long since I’ve written
I’ve been wordless, speechless,
thoughtless —
No, that’s not entirely true.
Words come from some odd place,
from the stranger who is
myself —
Unrecognizable now, save the crooked smile, the golden-flecked eyes,
and the broken heart.
Empty and wondering if you still smell like you,
like petrichor and inked muscle —
I know you do.
And if there were words (I’m so weary of words),
they’d be few and vague, but welcome.
Days turn into more days, and
I spend them all looking normal, but roaming wild —
searching for you.
And I’ve looked everywhere, in the darkest of alleys
and the brightest of deserts —
every single intersection of hope and hopeless.
Finding you over and over again,
save for the here now.
Losing you over and over again,
save for the there then.

