Here Now, There Then

Carly S. Beck
Aug 9, 2017 · 1 min read

It’s been so long since I’ve written

I’ve been wordless, speechless,

thoughtless —

No, that’s not entirely true.

Words come from some odd place,

from the stranger who is

myself —

Unrecognizable now, save the crooked smile, the golden-flecked eyes,

and the broken heart.

Empty and wondering if you still smell like you,

like petrichor and inked muscle —

I know you do.

And if there were words (I’m so weary of words),

they’d be few and vague, but welcome.

Days turn into more days, and

I spend them all looking normal, but roaming wild —

searching for you.

And I’ve looked everywhere, in the darkest of alleys

and the brightest of deserts —

every single intersection of hope and hopeless.

Finding you over and over again,

save for the here now.

Losing you over and over again,

save for the there then.

Carly S. Beck

Writer. “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be very careful what we pretend to be.“ -Vonnegut

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