Do you believe in signs?
I don’t. I believe in chaos, chance, freak occurrences, and biases — which sometimes present the situations we face as “signs” from a higher power. Similarly, I believe that “everything happens for a reason” is simply a way for humans to justify and cope with tragedy and the unknown.
Even so, sometimes I like to pretend. It makes the chaotic, unpredictable, and relatively uncontrollable life of solo-traveling (and merely of being human) easier to navigate. It helps with decision-making, both in the moment when we don’t know what we want, and after the fact, when we have to live with the choice we made.
For instance, if I spend my morning going back and forth on whether to make time for lunch with an old “friend” who’s been aloof about making plans to see me all week — even though we’re rarely in the same city, and I’ve been looking forward to seeing him for a while — I might accept the sudden realization that I forgot my makeup bag in my bestie’s car as a sign that I’d be wasting my time with this “friend.” (I never meet up with anyone without my eyebrows filled in.)
Every morning, I choose a personal affirmation or “mantra” to be the theme of my day. Inspired by something I saw online almost a year ago, one of the affirmations I’ve come up with and used quite a few times is “I am willing to trust my timeline.” Guess what I had been repeating to myself under my breath last Thursday morning, not even an hour before a sheet of rain poured onto my new laptop…
Yup. That I’d be “willing to trust my timeline.”
Of course, I spent the rest of the day fuming about the fact that I’d now have to leave Paihia, where I’d just arrived the evening before, to go all the way back down to Auckland to pay who-knew-how-much-money for the repair of water damage that wasn’t even my fault. “If I don’t, like, stumble upon my soulmate or the best travel buddy ever, or, just, you know, a bomb-ass travel buddy, because I’ve been ‘redirected’ back here to Auckland when I wanted to be in Paihia for the next week, then the universe sucks,” I hissed into my Instagram-story vlog that evening as I trekked to my new hostel. (Finding a road-trip buddy is what had originally been stressing me out 12 hours earlier.)
No, this blog post does not end with me finding either of those two things, nor any other “signs” that I am in my best possible timeline here in Auckland… Then again, it doesn’t hurt to remain open to the possibility, right?
I plan to fly down to Queenstown today, which I wouldn’t be doing at all if I hadn’t left Paihia on Thursday. Beyond getting the-fork out of Auckland and refusing to purchase another ticket from Intercity (their customer service is awful, and I won’t give them any more money if I can help it), I’ve been paralyzed with not knowing what to do next. Once I made it here on Thursday night, I texted Nicole, my friend who lives and works in Queenstown, to express my frustration, and she encouraged me to fly down. My vision had always involved road-tripping down, and then maybe flying back up, which is why I hadn’t thought to do this. But after seeing how cheap I could book a last-minute flight, I decided to go for it. I’m hoping that being in Queenstown will give me a little more clarity, as Paihia was supposed to do. I know that I want to travel New Zealand by car/campervan as opposed to public bus, and that ideally I’ll find a travel buddy to travel and split costs with as soon as possible.
For now, I do have a few anecdotes from past travels that give me some hope for trusting in the universe, and hope that my time in NZ will play out favorably. Overall, the point of these stories is this: if there’s a specific thing I know I want to do while traveling, but I can’t bring myself to plan it or wake up early enough to do it on my own, then I should allow myself to wait until I feel ready. When I’ve let things play out naturally without trying to force them, doing so has often worked out in my favor. Without further ado, the stories:
First, let’s start with My Favorite Place on Earth (more universally known as Bled, Slovenia). When I was in Bled, I went through a few days of feeling very low. I knew I wanted to take a day trip to Lake Bohinj, another beautiful lake only a bus ride away, but for days, I couldn’t muster up the motivation to actually set my alarm and walk the 230 meters to the bus stop. Then, one day when I was preparing dinner alone in my hostel kitchen, a girl I’d never seen before popped into the doorway and blurted out “where in Maryland are you from?!”
Turned out, she had also gone to UMD and graduated the previous year — only one year before I did.
From that moment on, we spent her time in Bled getting to know each other, having coffee and meals together, and exploring. That first night, we’d happened to be the only two guests in our 10-bunk dorm room, so after dinner, we laid in our respective bottom bunks and chatted into the darkness about college, books, and guys. Unsurprisingly, we discovered we’d had a few mutual friends, as confirmed by our Instagram contacts. She told me about her passion for photography, and her life as an au pair in Paris. I felt like I was back in elementary school, at a Friday night sleepover. Of course, we were thrilled to go to Lake Bohinj together, and we had a blast. I was so happy I hadn’t bothered to go on my own.
I had a similar experience a few weeks later, when I was in Italy. Overall, my time in this breathtaking country had been quite disappointing, because I’d been having trouble making connections in hostels the way I usually do. Even though I was having slightly better luck during my week in Rome, I’d been putting off going inside the Colosseum, because I’d “bEeN tHeRe BeFoRe” (when I was like 9 years old, HA! As if I could remember it). However, the day before I planned to leave for Naples, I finally changed my mind and I decided I’d go the following morning before hopping on a train. In the meantime, I would just chill and catch up on laundry.
When I went into the hostel kitchen to make myself some lunch that afternoon, a girl with shoulder-length, dark blonde hair started chatting with me. Based on her outfit, I hadn’t expected her to be American (I assumed that she was probably part of the giant Dutch clique that often took over this kitchen) but I quickly found out that she was from Oregon. She had no plans for the afternoon, and when I told her there was a certain restaurant that I was planning to visit for dinner, she agreed to join. Over pizza and vegan lasagna (*chef’s kiss*), I learned all about her childhood and her family, her travel plans, and her dream to become a commercial pilot. That evening, she introduced me to the guys she’d been traveling with, and coincidentally, the three of them were also planning to visit the Colosseum the following morning. So, together we went! Because we got along so well, I ended up pushing my visit to Naples back by a day so that we could spend the evening together in Rome and take the train down the following afternoon.
If it weren’t for that extra unplanned night in Rome, I also never would’ve met Marques – who would significantly alter the trajectory of my timeline. Despite how long I’ve wanted to visit New Zealand, for instance, I can guarantee you that I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for him.
Last but not least, volcano boarding in Nicaragua. “Volcano boarding,” which is essentially sledding down a certain black-sand-covered hill, is the biggest tourist attraction in León. As popular as it is, I didn’t imagine it was worth all the hype when I arrived in León, which is why I didn’t join my friend, Franzi when she did it. However, she insisted that it was such a unique experience, and that it was absolutely worth doing. I still wasn’t quite convinced, but I was a fan of the t-shirt she’d gotten for participating, so reluctantly—after at least half an hour of mapping out potential schedule alternatives in my journal for my remaining time in León—I decided to go for it the following day.
However, due to very strange circumstances, I ended up postponing that reservation at the very last minute—literally 20 minutes before I was supposed to be picked up—and I’m so glad I did. Because were it not for those strange circumstances, I never would’ve ended up in Coco Calala that afternoon, sitting at a table across from a girl reading a book — a girl with whom I’d go volcano-boarding the following weekend, and who would ultimately become the best friend I’ve ever made while traveling.
Was my inability to drag myself to Lake Bohinj alone a “sign” that I should wait, because I would soon encounter the perfect companion to accompany me? Were my initial hesitations in visiting the Colosseum and participating in volcano boarding “signs” that I’d receive better opportunities to do so later on?
Probably not.
Was my laptop getting DRENCHED as soon as I’d made it to Paihia a sign that I belonged somewhere else, perhaps a bit further south?
Doubtful.
I can appreciate, though, that letting the previous scenarios play out naturally ultimately benefitted me. So, maybe Queenstown will offer me just what I’m looking for.
Monday, November 28 continuation:
I can’t believe what I’m about to write.
Yesterday evening, I landed here in Queenstown, as planned. Not planned, however, was the sequence of events in the 26 hours that followed (to present), which I am quite excited to share.
In addition to Nicole, I’d like to note that I have one other friend in New Zealand that I’ve been on a (occasional) texting basis with. Like Nicole, I connected with this girl through a New Zealand Backpackers Facebook group a couple weeks before flying in, and we discussed the possibility of traveling together. Unlike with Nicole, this girl and I never managed to meet up on North Island, because her dates didn’t quite align with ours. As soon as she’d texted me her (fixed) itinerary, I’d accepted that we simply wouldn’t end up seeing each other, given how soon she was heading to South Island.
It didn’t occur to me until I arrived here, posted an Instagram story, and saw that she responded to it, that she might be here in Queenstown, NOW. Lo and behold, this was just what her message said. Not only was she in town, but she’d also arrived just several hours earlier (with her rental car!), and she also had three nights booked. Naturally, she invited me to join her and her new hostel friends for their plans to visit Glenorchy today (Monday), and I responded yes before even knowing what Glenorchy was.
So, today I got to meet this girl I’d only ever chatted with on social media, and it was a lot of fun. Not only that, but the two other Aussies who explored Glenorchy and Arrowtown with us are some of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and I’m so excited to spend the next several days with all of them.
So, I guess I was wrong when I predicted that this blog post wouldn’t have such a perfect ending. My bad. I mean… maybe the rest of my time in NZ will turn to crap after after I set these words free into the universe, or after Nik flies home next week. But I’m trusting that it won’t. 😉
