Noise is constant.
Noise is surrounding.
Noise holds everything in its fingertips. Love. Distraction. Change. Production.
The words we say. The words we hide. The words muttered under our breath- needing to be spoken, but not wanting to be heard. The words that fall on deaf ears. The words that need to fall.
Silence is layered.
Silence is underneath.
Silence holds everything in its fingertips. Love. Loss. Meaning. Complication.
The words we don’t say. The stares we can’t hide. The air we feel.
I haven’t written in a while. I haven’t finished this chapter of my ongoing story. I feel my creativity has been put on hold these past two weeks. Even now I’m distracted by the sounds around me, my heart needs to sing but I hear noise and subdue the urgent beating in my chest.
Why does Noise pull us from ourselves? It catches my attention and draws me out of myself. It’s a fish line that’s thrown casually my way. At the end, there’s a hook, and it somehow attaches to my skin, or maybe a rib, and shifts my body to face a different direction. The line begins to gently tug, and while my eyes linger on the path previous, my limbs begin to move away. Noise reels in his line slowly with persuading language, until I am fully facing the way that he pleases. No longer am I conscious of my original trajectory, and even now- I just lost what I was trying to say. Noise has fooled me again. The surrounding holds more entertainment and apparently more significance than this piece of mine. I write to focus, and focus eludes me.
Noise continues to draw me in. Now there is a hook in a crevice of my heart. It pulls a bit harder. My body is not the only thing affected now, but my thoughts. My heart holds what I want to say, but Noise is dragging it out of my chest. There is a battle of control, or maybe there is no battle at all. Whereas I need to speak, I need to release these words, consuming Noise takes my heart out of my being to keep for himself. To keep my words silent. To keep my mouth shut. To keep me from feeling what I need to feel. To keep me from realizing what I need to realize. To keep me from growing.
To keep me as I am.
To keep me in the noise.