Are we creating a generation of victims?

The New Face of Bullying

On the worst day of my life, I walked into school feeling more alone than I had ever felt. But I wasn’t entirely alone- Anger, Anxiety, Sadness, and Overwhelming fear held my hand that day. I knew what my peers would say about me- “slut,” “bitch,” “whore,” but I was ready. I almost wished someone would have just said it to my face, but the world is cruel and so are 14 year olds. As anticipated, the whispers of what I had done spread like wildfire and by lunch I had retreated to the bathroom stall.

It doesn’t matter what I did or what the other kids said about me. What matters is that I refused to let them beat me. This was my life. I refused to let them win. About halfway through lunch, I stood up and walked myself slowly, apprehensively towards the cafeteria.

Everyone stared, even my “friends”, but I paid them not attention. I sat down at a table of people I didn’t know and ate my lunch in peace. The road to recovery was long and hard, but I gained the truest friends in the world along my journey. Eight years later, all of that is behind me and my story is a happy one. But what about the other bullied souls out there?

Bullying- it’s always been around, but why does it appear things have gotten worse? One case can be made for the internet. Media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are the new faces of bullying. Nothing is private anymore and once it is out there, it is out there for the world to see. But I don’t understand why no one does anything about it. If someone is talking about you on Facebook, get off Facebook. If someone is bullying you on Twitter, get off Twitter. “It’s not that simple,” you might say. But it is.

At the risk of sounding harsh, I blame the victims who resort to things like violence and suicide just as much as the bullies who provoked them because there is a choice. There is always a choice. Choose to stand up for yourself.

Take it from someone who knows. Defending myself was the most difficult thing I had ever done up until now. It would have been easier if I had just stayed in that bathroom stall. But having strength is not easy, and only the strong survive.

My mother always told me “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” She was both right and wrong. Words scar,traumatize and linger deeper than any stick or stone. They leave lasting impressions and create dark places. Life has taught me however, that my mother was right too.

People can reserve the right to think, say or feel any particular way about you. Not everyone is going to like you or want to be your friend. And that’s okay. There are resources that are better than ever before if someone is emotionally hurting you. That’s the one good thing about this heightened sense of awareness around bullying this generation has created. There has never been a better time to talk to Mom or a teacher or even call a hotline.

What about physical violence? This one is easy.

Yes, people can say what they want. But when someone puts their hands on you, you fight. I don’t believe in violence, but I do believe in the right to defend yourself. If anyone in this world resorts to physical violence, you better hit them. Because if you don’t stand up for yourself, who will? So what if you lose? It sends a message- I won’t go down without a fight.

You need to have a sense of self pride. Bullying is only one of the many curve balls life throws at you. What are you going to do when you lose your job and have to pay the bills? Shut down? That’s not an option. In this life you either sink or swim. So make the choice to swim.