The “follow your passion” idea was always a source of consternation to me, causing me to feel I had lost my way or was simply too inept to carry out my dreams. Then a year ago I was having a conversation with the man that was at that time dating my daughter. He was about to take an early retirement from what had been a lucrative and satisfying career and was considering where his dreams might next take him. I shared the frustration of my own life as a single mother driven by the priority to keep a roof over our heads. Fortunately I had put together a successful and rewarding career as an engineer, but I had never felt the deep fulfillment that I imagined people meant when they spoke of doing what you love. This sensitive man (now my son-in-law) looked me in the face and said, “Maybe your passion was to raise a wonderful daughter.” With those words it seemed the final turn of my life’s combination clicked into place, and fulfillment pushed aside two decades of frustration.

What does this have to do with writing, or with being a writer? Simply that it is important to distinguish between doing what you love and what you have to do. I had placed my parental responsibility above my dream of being a writer, and then made the mistake of castigating myself about my choice. What I had had to be was an engineer, an employed engineer. Being an engineer made me a good living and along the way I had the chance to do some worthy work (e.g., cleaning up industrial pollution and putting some cracks in the glass ceiling, too.) Guess what else I got to do along the way? Write. I’d been writing since high school — just because I got started and never broke the habit. My ability to communicate effectively was a powerful asset in my engineering career. And, off the job, I wrote letters, journals, poetry and an occasional story. Have I published? You bet, nothing you’ve ever read, though: technical reports, compliance manuals, training materials, patent applications.

Now that I’m retired (after a second career in education added on to my 25-plus years as an chemical and environmental engineer), you might think that now I might actually become a writer? Well, I have some extra hours to devote to writing, and no restrictions whatever on form or content, but am I a writer? Perhaps, but most people would probably regard me as a volunteer heavily involved in church and community and the senior maternal figure of a beloved family. I write more than ever and with more serious intention towards improvement than ever before. Am I a writer? Well, I might ask have I ever not been? True, I’ve never been paid for what I’ve written, but in so many ways writing has been what kept me sane through life’s tougher patches, deepened my understanding of the world, kept me in touch with friends and loved ones, and given me a means to celebrate my triumphs. Perhaps, most of all, writing has been and continues to be a way of being ME.

So, to all of you out there for trying to earn a living by writing, I wish you fortitude and good fortune. I do know how difficult it can be to make one’s way in the world. And if there are any hard-working writers who harbor an inner passion for engineering, go ahead and tinker all you can in your workshop. In life, money and passion are both vital. Trying to combine them may not always be the best plan.