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journal entry, age 13

Dear you,

Happy Tuesday. Happy Fall.

Happy It Is Okay Not To Come Out Today Day.

I know you’re seeing Facebook statuses; I know you’re hearing people claim this day as celebration. Maybe your school is talking about it. Maybe you hear it on the radio. On the news. On TV.

National Coming Out Day! Time to shine. Time to be proud.

As if it happens all at once. …


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Image by Gabriela Indivero

Two years before the last day we spoke, my best friend wrote to me about grief.

We discussed monuments, how foolish humans are, to build from stone and pretend we can place our hurt inside of it. As if sorrow could be kept stationary. As if we could carve out a time to feel between the hours of 2 pm and 4 pm, or only on our lunch break, or whenever we go to a new city on vacation.

We laughed at that, at the silliness of grief so big it needed its own home.

Perhaps, I said, two lovers and three jobs from now, we’ll call each other and cry over a thing we should have forgotten.

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