Siesta Key Episode 4: Alex REVEALED
We are living in the upside down people. This week’s episode of forced me to ask the question:
“Is Alex a low-key GOOD guy?”

All evidence leading up to this episode has pointed to be Alex being a typical FFB (Florida Fuck Boy). He’s strung along two girls, flirts with a third who has a boyfriend, flaunts his (father’s) enormous wealth by having lavish parties, drinks Red Bull and champagne out of a comically large champagne flute. Uses “let’s go fishing” as a pickup line, wears #seacreature jewelry.

And yet, I say this without a hit of irony, we saw a brand-new side to him tonight, one that isn’t worthy of any snark. Of all we knew about Alex leading up to this week, we didn’t know that Alex was the oldest of three siblings, and that his younger brother and sister are autistic. We meet them briefly as Alex makes lunch with Madisson, who is clearly close with Bronson and Sarah. Alex is sweet, patient, and a good brother as he makes his siblings tacos and talks about how much the cause of finding a cure to autism is to him. It’s all very sweet, and absolutely infuriating, because I’d like to be able to keep making fun of Alex without any moral complications. Is that too much to ask!?
His passion for autism research is what leads him to throw a Gatsby-themed gala this week, where a lot goes down, but let’s back up. You might need a minute to recover from this new Alex information, so just bookmark this page and come back when you’re ready.

Last week, we found out the Amanda and Alex hooked up, this week we don’t find out too much more, other than it happened before Amanda broke Chloe’s nose, and before Alex and Juliette were “official.”
Here’s how our group reacts: Juliette doesn’t take the news well and calls Alex and “piece of shit,” and Alex, a future lawyer, doesn’t understand why. Juliette says it over. A voice over reminds us that these two always find a way back to one another.

-Chloe is mad because Amanda had sworn she’d never hook up with Alex, and this news seems to be more of a deal-breaker for their friendship than the physical assault from a few weeks ago. Ohhkay then.
-Brandon, confronts Amanda who basically shuts him down and says they’re better off as friends. Brandon is betrayed because he once supported Amanda in a bikini-contest, and in Florida that’s tantamount to going steady!
- Madisson is surprised, but tells Kelsey that this only gives her more of a push to forget Alex.
The news of the Alex/Amanda smashfest also reaches Kelsey, who as we know, is in a growing flirtation with Alex, and tells her mom that while Garrett is ready to start his personal training business and settle down, her focus is really on hanging out with Alex and his new friends this summer. Kelsey’s idea of a five year plan is an IUD, not marriage to Garrett.
Garrett, by the way, is getting a total cuck edit. He knew Alex & Co. in high school, but wasn’t friends with them because it’s clear he is not as wealthy as their gang, and isn’t enjoying his girlfriend’s adoration of the crew. Juliette and Chloe wonder about whether he’s good in bed, and decide he’s either a jackhammer or a starfish. Neither is meant in a flattering way. He also gets a lot of derpy cutaway shots while Alex makes move after move on Kelsey.
Let’s put on our sequined dresses, crimp our hair ,and wear some elastic headbands around our forehead because it’s time for Alex’s gala!
Madisson gets a grand entrance on the staircase, and catches Brandon’s eye. He says her dress is “visually rewarding,’ and Kelsey responds for all of us by saying “that sounds creepy.”

Juliette and Chloe are waiting for Amanda to show her harlot face. And we get a ridiculous montage set to the stupidest song of Amanda walking into the party. Chloe gets in an epic anachronism zing “I mean they didn’t even have strapless dresses in the 20’s,” but Juliette and Amanda talk it out, and make up. Boring.
Garrett looks utterly bored at what seems like an utterly boring Gala at Alex’s house. He keeps checking his phone and NOT HIS GIRL, so Kelsey and Alex slip outside where she moves down in my book by flirting with Alex and saying how they need to hang more. Alex says some of their friends are staying after the gala, and Kelsey should too. But when she asks Garrett to stay, he bails. And based on the scenes from next week — maybe wasn’t the best choice.
Sorry this was a bit long — I had VERY complicated thoughts on Alex.
I give this episode 7/10 anachronistic Gatsby dresses.