A Heretic’s Mardi Gras Reflections on Abundance, Self-Denial, and Rebirth

Laissez bon temps rouler! What an incredible time, having an Aquarius new moon leading into Mardi Gras, leading into Ash Wednesday and the lenten season, leading into the simultaneous celebrations of rebirth that are Easter and the Vernal Equinox. I’ve spent the past six months or so doing Goddess meditations on the New Moon and this month, interestingly enough, the divined Goddess was Abundantia which pairs so perfectly with the Aquarius new moon that opens founts for wealth and prosperity.

I had a really interesting experience during my New Moon ritual. The meditation became somewhat of a nightmare. Because of some trauma I’ve endured, the idea of “abundance” is not a joyful one. It brings to mind the selfish pursuit of objects no matter their risk and the worship of money and material things as God. I had to engage my root chakra like never before to remind myself that I was safe, that the healing I was doing was important, and that what happening wouldn’t last forever.

I start to think about what I should give up for Lent. This is embarrassing coming from someone who worked in the church for a good eight years, but I didn’t realize until recently that the Lent isn’t directly related to Easter. It represents the 40 days and nights Jesus spent in the desert fasting and fending off temptation from those who wishes to “catch” him in his Godliness. Interestingly enough there is a nearly identical story of the Buddha being tempted on his journey to Nirvana. In the bible, this temptation is recounted in Matthew 4, which I often pass by on the way to Matthew 5–7, The Sermon on the Mount which I find to be one of the most sanctified passages in the Christian holy text.

Before we get to Lent though, we celebrate Mardi Gras. The origins of the day as we celebrate it are so dense and colorful and diverse. Growing up it was simplified to me as Fat Tuesday — The day you participate in excess because you know you’ll be giving it up the next day. But I don’t like excess. I just had a huge fight with the Goddess of excess last night! And what comes right after Jesus’ story of temptation? Him reminding us that blessed are the meek, the poor in spirit. THEN he tells us “Hey don’t make a big celebration right before you practice prayerful self-denial okay?” THEEEEEEN he says YOU CANNOT SERVE GOD AND WEALTH, OKAY ABUNDANTIA!

This morning I picked up my purple, green, and orange crystals. What could these Mardi Gras gems teach me about today? The orange calcite and peridot send back to me all of those messages of prosperity and wealth that make me so uncomfortable last night. Malachite and carnelian both offer up a confidence — To be myself, to be in the world, to be confident to love. The green calcite opens up the love receptors to bring it right back while the lepidolite reminds me to take it easy and to pray for serenity. Finally we have charoite and amethyst doing some really heavy lifting, purging negativity and bad habits and aiding in transformation.

So we’ve already done the abundance game. And we’ll get to the celebration of transformation. So maybe right now I need to live in that calm, confident love. Maybe Lent for me will be about prayerfully choosing love and serenity at all opportunities. If we go back to the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

The craft of love has two parts — To love and to be loved. To be loved, one has to be free of fear. To love, one has to be free of resentment. Fear and resentment are what my bones are made out of! Fear and Resentment live in my root chakra, I’ve built a life of false security on them.

But if we look at the heart chakra, the love center, as the reflection point of the chakra ladder, the root connects to the crown. Crown is where we find ourself fully open to the way, the life, and the will of a universal consciousness/divine intelligence/higher power/God. Root is where we experience reality, safety and security. How can I achieve that feeling of safety and security without fear and resentment? By living confidently as a child of God. By knowing that God’s will for me is more powerful than any fear or resentment and that God’s plan is a lot bigger than my plan. By prayerfully engaging my root like I did last night, in the face of a Goddess who I feared and resented. By asking God what I can do each day for the sick man. By opening myself up to God’s love for me and letting that strong, powerful love course through me while I relax and let it do the work for me. By being a channel of God’s peace, so that where there is hatred I may bring love.

This will be unlike any Lenten season I’ve had before, where I sneak whatever contraband I’m supposedly avoiding in the bathroom and making excuses like “If I’m *in church* than it’s okay to eat candy!” This year I won’t get to celebrate on Easter morning by gobbling down whatever it is that I’ve avoided as a prize for my due diligence.

Instead, if I stay on this path, and God is willing, my prize come in the form of Nirvana like the Buddha or in the sanctification of my spirit like Jesus. I must stave off temptation like they both did, in the form of fear and resentment. If God gives the sun and the rain to both the good and evil, righteous and unrighteous, to be spiritually aligned I must do the same.

Let the good times roll. Let the love flow freely. Love and light. Praise God.