To be or not to be (a writer)

Caroline Delmonte
Aug 24, 2017 · 3 min read

Yesterday at the chiropractors I filled out the new patient form. At occupation’s box I hesitated. What? What do I do? Bored of putting ‘homemaker’ I brazenly wrote ‘writer’. Could have been worse, I could have completely put it out there with ‘novelist’. But no, just writer.

Another back doctor sprung to mind, the osteopath. He asked me what I did, I said I looked after my children but wanted to be a writer. He looked up at me from his tiny keyboard and said, “well you are a writer then”. Simple as that. Oh, okay.

I felt empowered. Writer. There it was on the form. Marvellous.

I didn’t feel so good an hour later when the doctor asked what I wrote. Ah, questions. Yikes, I hadn’t been prepared for that in my moment of high spirits.

“Just blogging for now” I replied, and then followed up with the cringeworthy “but I’m working on a book”. I could have just left it. Why the need to justify the direction or ability of the writing? Lots of people make a living from writing without the need to be A Novelist. The nice Australian nurse asked me what the book was about. I have been rumbled. “She’s not really a writer, look she’s pretending. Making it up as she goes along. Can you believe it?” “I’m not sure yet”. I eventually replied. Wanting both to talk about it but not talk about it, incase I got a difficult question that only a real writer would know the answer to.

I looked at both of their eager faces, wondering if I should make some joke about using them in my book so they’d better be nice to me. But that is not me, that’s my naughty alter-ego novelist self stirring trouble.

It’s a bit like when you’re out of college and everyone wants you to have experience before they take you on for a job. But wait, this job is the experience I need. Without this, and I might add it’s unpaid, how do I get the experience again?

At what point can I legitimately say I’m a writer? Upon receipt of a nice cheque? At single-mindedly writing 1000 words a day?

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Jim Carey, Actor, wrote himself a cheque for $500,000 when he was a teenager. He worked towards knowing one day he could cash it, and he did. Start living the life you want now? The villa in Italy overlooking the ocean. I will definitely do my best writing there with an ice cold homemade lemonade and the sea breeze, best start looking at property if I’m taking myself seriously. Right dear reader?

If I don’t take myself seriously, I’ve got no chance of anyone else believing me. So from one thing to another. Transition hidden except to those who I choose to share my writing with.

As part of my writing boot camp, I have to write a novel in 3 months. 65 hours of writing. Sounds a lot, but it’s not so much if you break it down. So I cheerfully told my kids what my next project is in the camp. They like hearing all about it.

“I’m going to be writing a novel”

“So, it’s like a book?”

“Yes, a book”

“Like Harry Potter?”

“Yes, sort of”

“What’s it about?”

Ah, this question again.

“I’m not sure yet”

So there it is, I am going to be writing a novel. Mainly because Teach will crack the whip and make sure I do, but do it I will. And that is so exciting to me. Whether or not it’ll be any good is a whole other thing, but I can at least once and for all answer the question “What is it about”, because I will have written it and hopefully will know by then.

Yours, Carolina

)

Caroline Delmonte

Yours, Carolina. A letter from me to you.

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