Last night I stayed up to the wee hour of 11 pm so I could watch the presidential debate. I did this knowing full well that my alarm would be going off at 5:00 — early enough to get going before my kids. Let me be oh-so-clear in stating that 8 hours of sleep is an absolute necessity for my sanity and my ability to parent in a halfway decent capacity. Nevertheless, I wanted to watch the circus of the debate, and I did.
5 am rolled around. I snoozed. Except that I didn’t snooze, I off-ed. By the time my husband had me up over an hour later, I knew my mom day was definitely not going to be starting out well. I woke them late. Cereal(gasp!) and frozen waffles (double gasp!) for breakfast. Hair did NOT get brushed. And sadly, I missed my dang workout.
I’m a stay at home mom which means if today was performance review day, things would not go well for me. Some days, it just doesn’t come together. (Note: many days, it just doesn’t come together)
For so long, I stressed about my life. Okay, yea, so I guess I still stress about my life. However, I’m slowly learning the art of mellow-ness. Kids have schedules, dad has the ‘real’ job, mom volunteers. Homework time, laundry piles, dinner creations. The stupid lawn has brown patches. The cat just threw up. BOTH boys wet the bed — which means TWO sets of sheets to wash and remake (and by the way, who the heck decided to give them a bunk bed? Have you ever TRIED to make a bed on the top bunk?!?)
My point is, the list is endless, and the stress can be too. Sometimes I just have to let. it. go. (PS — Disney has completely ruined a perfectly good phrase)
I am trying my best. I forgot to have my daughter turn in a Girl Scout assignment last week. The wrath of judgement was upon me from her leader. But, psssht. Whatever. The life of moms, and parents in general, is a big ball of madness. Parents of super little kids? Might as well watch your mind fly out of the window. It promises to return in a few years.
Once I finally accepted that life is especially busy and hard for the moment, things were in perspective for me. I no longer felt the horrible burden of guilt for not having the most perfectly clean house. I can now say “No” to some requests, because I just CAN’T DO IT ALL. I don’t beat myself up for making my kids eat school lunch from time to time because I haven’t been able to get to the grocery store for real food. (“Mooooom!! The only thing I could eat on my tray was the chocolate milk!!”)
Each day I work so hard for my family. I give everything that I have to make our world go ‘round. I dedicate myself to my mom job, and generally speaking, I do truly love it.
But at last, I love myself too. I now allow myself to see the awesome things that I DO accomplish, and I forgive myself when I fall short. This code keeps me going on the crappy days and helps me recognize when I do something right. It’s just one little step on the road of happiness, but an important idea that I’m grateful to have unlocked for myself.