Dear Ten-year old Me,
I know you like knowing big words. So here’s a big one for you: codependency.
Codependency is characterized by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs.
-Psych Central
Perhaps you’re thinking “ew, this is probably about boys”. But it’s not that. I’m actually warning you about something that will soon take the world by storm, and yours too.
You’re going to love it, then hate it, think you’re better than it, and get sucked back in — time and time again. Whether you cite it’s for professional or personal reasons, it is going to be the longest codependent relationship of your life.
So with what, you may ask? Social Media.

When you’re fifteen, you’re going to (surprisingly) find a lot of self-confidence through it. You’ll post your thoughts freely and without a second thought — anything that comes to mind. You’ll meet people there. It will seem like a social circle, dare I say community, that you never imagined in your wildest dreams. It will seem like a great way to buffer your social anxiety. You’ll think — if people get to know you online, then perhaps they won’t be disappointed by lacklustre social skills in real life?
Enter the age of the Influencer. In your teen years, you’ll start to see that everyone around you seems to have some sort of “alternate ego” online. Most of your friends will have almost 1,000 followers on Instagram, and a few will have upwards of 10K. Don’t worry, these numbers don’t really mean anything. But you’ll feel the pressure creeping up. Everyone around you has social media now. They make friends there, sometimes even start fights.
But as you enter your twenties, you’ll soon realize that you don’t want to be chasing the shadow of your online persona anymore. It can be overwhelming, always playing a game of cat-and-mouse. You’ll feel it start spreading its influence into every corner of your life. If you go out for drinks with a friend, you’ll document it. But if you choose to stay at home, you’ll feel it too.

You’ll soon realize that it’s not buffering your social anxiety anymore, it’s amplifying it. But that’s not your fault. Or the fault of the people you follow. That’s just what the programs are designed for. Instagram has become a picturesque mood board of your dream life — only with real people, who you’re constantly comparing yourself to and falling short of. Facebook has become an echo chamber of your deepest fears — about the economy, politics, the world.
That’s when you realize — you need a break. But small issue..you can’t seem to leave. You’re hooked. Like I mentioned earlier, codependency relationships are dysfunctional.
Now you’re working in the Creative field (sorry, spoiler alert). Everyone uses social media as a platform. You’ll struggle to see it that way, but once you realize, it’ll be a game-changer. You choose what you consume. You don’t need to follow every cool girl on Instagram with stunning (and unaffordable) outfits. You’ll find a lot of cooler people out there, who are showing real, raw, content. And that’s what you’ll strive to become.
You’ll use your platform to spread good, to try and show the realest version of yourself. You’ll use it to show your art, instead of showing your last meal.
It’s not supposed to be a one-sided relationship. After all, you’re not catching up to your social media shadow, it’s catching up to you.
And two last pieces of advice…

