2023 Self-Reflection — Studying aboard 英國留學後心理成長

This year, I made a big decision in my life_study aboard! It seemed to be a dream-come-true life others dreamed about. For me, it used to be the same feeling as studying abroad, especially after working a few years in Taiwan.

However, I was influenced by the education taught by school and my parent that all success you have achieved needed to be hidden and not shown off.

Therefore, I always didn’t feel confident because I felt like this Asian culture didn’t allow me to be proud of myself.

To be honest, I didn’t want to write this private thing on Medium at first. I was not good at expressing my feelings and emotions as a super introverted person.

At the end of the year, I realized that I even didn’t have time to reflect on my past which made me so shocked that how come I was too busy to do it. I hope this reflection can help me live every moment of my life and be confident in what I have created and done so far.

There are changes I made over the past three years that have shaped who I am now. I love and embrace these changes.

Live our souls well.

I forgot where to get this idea from but it influenced me a lot, even changing my whole attitude toward life. I used to be a person who tended to compare myself to others depending on materials or how much they earned.

However, if we seem as a soul inside ourselves, the most important thing is to create our own stories instead of working for money or chasing good materialism.

For example, I focus on reading and learning to gain wisdom. I read books on mental health. I plan to have a habit and enjoy it. I gain happiness while I am experiencing new things or activities. I feel pure joy while spending time with my family even if it is a small chat.

The reason I was doing these new things was not I wanted to make more money or be impressed by others; it is because I purely love it and it enriches my life. I truly love doing them and I feel good because of it.

I changed my thinking because of the idea that our souls live forever, even after we die.

Think of life like a container; we put our experiences into it to make our souls richer. This container holds memories, relationships, and life experiences, shaping how we see things and our inner selves. Our souls last even after we pass away because our kids and family remember these stories and maybe these stories will impact them in a good way.

With this new perspective, I am not only focusing on making money, I try to think about other important things in my life, like spending time with myself and my family.

I ask myself ‘ What is living my soul good?’

Something is popping up initially:

- Doing things makes you motivated and happy every day!

- Be open to feeling every emotion.

- Taking care of our inner child. Give support and don’t be too harsh.

- Experience life and go to see everything without prejudgment.

- Do what you love.

- Spend time with your family.

- Have a healthy lifestyle.

You are in your time zone.

The words most people taught me is to make the most of your time when I am in London.

The first time I heard this, I felt motivated and even wrote them down. However, it seemed to be a stress for me. Sometimes, when I was doing nothing at home, I felt guilty or anxious because I felt like I was wasting my time. I tore this quote down on my pinboard.

I tell myself:

‘I am living in my time zone. I am living every moment of my life. No matter what I am doing now, it always means something even if I just stay at home enjoying the sunset outside of the window.’

This winter, I got a serious cold in London and spent almost three weeks healing myself. I realized I wasn’t taking good care of my health.

I was struggling to balance between a freelance job and studying at school. I also felt anxious for the desire to experience all new things in the UK. I was too concentrated on productivity and responsibility.

I hope I can remind myself, I was doing enough. I cherish everything and every opportunity. I am living my own time at a good age.

Even though I moved back to Taiwan now, I will regret nothing because I have already gained so many life experiences.

Just believe every experience has its meaning in life, and wait for it to change our lives later.

Spend time with my inner child

Talking to myself has become my new habit after living alone for a few years. I realized how powerful enough it can help us calm down and be happier.

Besides, it helps me to know me better.

I know there are many ways we can know ourselves like MBTI, horoscope, IELTS test(haha), or psychological test, but the most effective way is talking to friends and yourself.

I realized how harsh I was to myself after I just said negative things to myself at home. I did it unconsciously but one day I just realized how badly I treated my inner child, like saying ‘I hate myself’, ‘ I hate that’, or ‘What I have done?’.

After realizing how bad it was for my mental health. I altered my reaction when I recalled awkward things.

I learned to talk to myself as a mother ‘You are doing enough, and it’s okay to be not good or make mistakes.’ ‘ maybe next time, you can do this better.’

I am thinking about what would I say to my child as a mother. Will I say something negative to my child? If not, why should I say that to myself now?

Never stop reading

After I started the reading habit, I knew how powerful it is for improving my life and gaining new experiences even if you are not going anywhere.

I was truly influenced in a good way by reading books. It gave me a new life attitude and wisdom from masters around the world.

I got many new ideas for life :

• Traveling is a way to know yourself. You will be humble while traveling. Sometimes, you will know your hometown better after you leave your home for a while.
• Knowing yourself matters. It is your identity for living every moment.
• Find your inner peace. Learn meditation and reflect.
• A positive mindset can enrich your life and release stress.
• Take action now.
• Learn things better when you do things you love.

At the end of this year, I want to recap things I learned after I started my new study life in the UK.

• Be open and active to everything we encounter no matter how bad or good it is. Shit things are happening every day, like racism, bad teaching quality, or sickness.
• Be talkative to people we meet because it may be the last chance we can talk to. Learn from different cultures and share with them.
• Be positive. Being alone in a different country is hard. We need to be independent and solve problems on our own. Smile to people often.
• It’s better to learn things you love rather than learn as much as you can. Being a student again is so amazing but I know we have limited time. Try to be productive and manage your time carefully.
• The experience you had in the past is a special story for other people from different countries. We should share with people your story often. Through conversation with others, the way you perceive your story will be different.
• Spending time with my family. There are different time zones in the UK and Taiwan. I just realized how difficult will it be to make a phone call with my family, and how much I miss them. Looking at the photos with them has become my habit now haha.
• Be confident and be brave enough to be different.
• Cherish every chance to speak in English. Yes… I am writing this post in English now.

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