You are Hai-ly kul in my books.
I couldn’t begin to explain how closely I identify with almost everything you have said here (except the being an advertising executive part, but I can substitute artist there). As a fellow observer, I totally get your “pain,” but I have come to accept and enjoy that role. I no more need to be outwardly labeled as cool than I require being adored by a stadium of ravenous fans or taking part in every social event that flutters around me. But in personal terms, it is important that I am cool with who I am and what I choose to do.
It makes me think of belly buttons (lol). They are concave or convex – affectionately called innies or outies. Navels may have different points of reference, but both are the indelible imprint of how we came to be.
Here is a haikul back atcha:
All are marked at birth
Scars may intrude or protrude
We call them navels