I’m Sorry I Didn’t Respond to Your Email, My Husband Coughed to Death Two Years Ago
Rachel Ward
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Rachel,

Thank you for writing this. I’ll bet it was hard even if you made it look easy. I am in the DC area too; widowed almost three months ago when my husband died after a 10-month battle with brain cancer. I am surely much older than you but much younger than the age range that I typically associate with widowhood. When my husband was sick, I guess I foolishly thought that I would escape the ensuing grief because we were never joined at the hip— we had a good marriage and he was my best friend, but we also lived apart for nearly 5 years when he worked in NYC and I traveled independently too. Your experiences — the memory loss (I misplace my keys about 75 times a day), the reliance on Netflix as a distraction (I never even had an account until after he died!), and grieving for all the stuff he would miss (in my case, it’s all the cool tech advancements). Oddly death seems to be more of a common experience than birth. Anyway, your piece gave me hope — that was my drug of choice when my husband was sick, and it’s the one I resort to now on good days.

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