What connects you with the things that bring you joy and happiness?
This week is mental health awareness week, with the theme to reconnect with the people and places that lift us up.
This morning I’ve been reflecting on what brings me joy, and what lifts me up.
Underwater hockey brings me joy!
Yes, it is a real sport. New Zealand Men and Women are the current World Champions.
I started playing UWH about 33 years ago. For years it was my primary focus — everything came second to hockey. For my troubles, single-mindedness and dedication I collected many injuries and a World Championship Gold Medal.
Interestingly, until this morning, I hadn’t really reflected on what it was about hockey that lifts me up, or on why it brings me joy and makes even the most awful days seem better; only that it does, and that everything is better when I play UWH.
I’ve come to the conclusion that there are several components, and that any one component, individually, isn’t the thing that lifts me up and brings me immense joy and happiness. However, when the correct combination is blended together, magic emerges.
Ingredients
- Underwater hockey games
- Cardio and Pool sessions
- Resistance training
- Skills
- Discussions
This recipe is super tangible; it is very specific to me. I’ve abstracted out these different components into what they look like in a more everyday context.
First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome.
Terry Pratchett — A Hat Full of Sky
Underwater hockey games
This is arguably the most fun. I mean, who doesn’t love playing games? Especially games with teammates, where we’re all aligned on what we want to achieve. This is how largely how I see the world — huge amounts of fun, playing to win. Of course, this leads to two important questions:
1. Who is on my team?
2. What does ‘winning’ look like?
Once we move away from actual sport, this can get quite thorny quite quickly.
If I think about who is on my team, it’s far broader than my UWH teammates. My husband and children are on my team. And I am on each of their teams. Many of my ex-colleagues are on my team, no doubt, some are not. Many of my associates and network are on my team. Again, many may not be. Similarly, I’m on their teams. While Professor Leigh Thompson may have defined a team as a group of individuals working together to achieve their goal, I think a team is broader than that. I could not do what I’m doing without the support of those on my team. The people on my team support me, encourage me and motivate me.
What does winning look like? I’m actually not a big fan of winning in the context of life or work, primarily because it means someone loses. I prefer asking myself what ‘good’ looks like. I also think that we can all win (of course this depends on how we define win); if we work together. Although I sometimes look around me and wonder whether I’m just being naïve. Unpacking this concept properly is a post all by itself, possibly a book??
Cardio and Pool sessions
Cardio and Pool sessions can be gruelling, they can be hard work, and sometimes they’re dull. I know that I’ll feel better and be better for having done them. They are essential if you want to perform at your best. In short, they’re self-care. If you ignore self-care, you may not notice the effects immediately. However, when ignored for long enough, the lack of care begins to show up. Self-care isn’t always chilled days at the spa, often self-care is getting up and doing what we know will do us good, even if we’d rather chill on the couch.
Resistance Training
This is great for everyone, regardless of your goals and aspirations. It builds strength and muscle tone and helps prevent injury — preventing injury is very helpful when you play competitive sport! It also means that you’re more flexible and have better balance. And these positive efforts help us remain independent as we age, so all-round winner here.
Doing things that are hard, that test our boundaries, in healthy ways, and stretch us help ensure that we’re flexible, and build resilience. I especially enjoy the need to focus on this one thing because it needs my attention while I’m doing it. Challenging ourselves and embracing being comfortable with being uncomfortable means we’re better able to handle the challenges life throws at us.
Skills
Ask any sports person — they keep honing their skills, new skills and the basics.
Embrace the growth mindset.
Learn new stuff.
Meet new people.
Be curious.
Live life like you mean it.
Remember where you came from.
Help those who have just stepped onto the ladder.
There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.
Madeleine Albright
Discussions
Real, meaningful discussions, talking about strategy, what ‘good’ looks like, how we can work together, the skills we all bring to the team and how much time and energy we can dedicate to the cause. There are so many things to discuss. In UWH this becomes really clear when you realise that you cannot simply call your teammate to let them know you’re open (ever tried talking underwater???).
In just the same way, I think we need to spend more time with our people, listening to what they want and supporting them to achieve those goals. Articulating what we want and asking for the help we need to achieve our goals. It is not a zero-sum game; we are better, stronger, and more resilient when we work together to support our common goals and objectives.
And yet…
This doesn’t quite cover it all. The individual components don’t bring the magic, not as individual components. The magic happens when all the pieces are brought together. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Like the magic of coffee or chocolate cake, UWH brings me a deep joy that I cannot simply unpack and hope to replicate.
I can learn from the elements, but somehow, it all falls flat when I try to dissect it.
I would love to hear your stories and experiences what connects you to your joy and happiness?
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