On Policing Disability

I can voluntarily pop my joints out of socket. Doctors are often skeptics, especially if you’re a woman or similarly marginalized individual, so if I need visible proof regarding my body’s issues, this is how I pacify their gaze. An offering: You can see it, I swear!

Usually the joint-popping happens involuntarily; sometimes, there are many painful subluxations a day. To add to it, my skin bleeds and bruises too much. My stomach leaves me bedridden, my retinas are prone to ripping, my heart beats too faintly; sometimes, I pass out.

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Carolyn Zaikowski

Author, “In a Dream, I Dance by Myself, and I Collapse” (Civil Coping Mechanisms) & “A Child Is Being Killed” (Aqueous Books) http://www.carolynzaikowski.com/