11 Reasons Blayne Is the Bad Boy That Tickles My Pubes Into Oblivion

  1. Blayne’s name is Blayne.
  2. Blayne wears a bomber jacket that was his mom’s ex-boyfriend’s in the 90s.
  3. Blayne works at Olive Garden, but he doesn’t give a shit.
  4. Blayne never listens to anything I say. He’s not deaf, he’s just above it all, because he’s so hot.
  5. Blayne smokes cigarettes, but he’s not loyal to any brand.
  6. Blayne told me that his mom is a bitch so one time I stole his phone and sent her 136 fire emojis. This makes me so hot!
  7. Blayne’s favorite show is Mr. Robot, but he’s never seen it.
  8. Blayne bullies Leslie Jones on Twitter and it’s SO bad lol.
  9. Blayne has a tight ass!
  10. Blayne drives a Buick which sucks for parallel parking and for regular parking, but he speeds around town blasting Panic At the Disco in it. Omg Blayne is so hot.
  11. Fuccctcccccck. So. Hot. S. O. F. U. C. K. I. N. G. H. O. T. Lol I hope he never reads this!!! Even though I’m not sure if he can read?
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