Taylor Swift Reviews Lemonade

*First of all, I’d like to note that it’s been a rough week for me — as one of the most famous people in the world — but also as a regular person just like you. When I heard the news that the wrestler Chyna died last week through my fifth assistant, I was heartbroken, because at first I thought she meant Black Chyna, who is a friend of a friend of a friend of a #squad member. And I was also so sad that Prince died. He was the redhead, right?

Ok! Ok, enough about me. Now to my review of LEMONADE!!!! This is so exciting and I’m so glad Pitchfork is willing to let me share my thoughts on their website . . .

Wow. Just. Wow.

Amazing. Moving. Thrilling. Tangy. Refreshing. Game. Changer. There are seriously not enough words on Thesaurus.com to describe how amazing LEMONADE is in one-word sentences.

It’s so refreshing to see something that we think we know and understand taken to a whole new level. This is the extreme, and I’m all about the extreme: I wear high waisted stuff!

It’s also just so incredible to live in a country where anyone can make anything they want if they have enough money.

LEMONADE gave me goosebumps. Seriously. Goosebumps that won’t go away. Like, it’s been days. Days of goosebumps. And that’s not a bad thing. That’s how moved I am right now. This was so powerfully chilling, that it literally made me chilly. I get cold easily because my bones are actually made of ice, but that’s besides the point.

This is the kind of stuff that inspires me, a multi millionaire, to make more multi millions, even though I could honestly buy Ibiza for me and my #squad to live and never work another day in my life (besides the day when we have to kick everyone out of Ibiza).

THIS IS ART. And I know art: My favorite singer is Jay Z.

LEMONADE is yellow. Chill. Smooth. These are some more adjectives I looked up! Yes!!

And it helps that it comes with a little umbrella for my cats to play with! If they eat it, they will die, though.

This has seriously got to be the best $3,000 glass of LEMONADE I have ever had.

And I know LEMONADE.

If you must know, I have had a lot of LEMONADE in my life. But never, ever, ever in my life have I — or will I — waste my hard-earned dollars (I started from the bottom, don’t you forget!) on a glass of LEMONADE from plastic cups sold by children on the — what are those called, that normal people walk on but it’s not the street? It’s like, next to the street and it’s really close to the street, but it’s not the street? What is that?

Anyways, that’s where they sell the LEMONADE that is poison, the LEMONADE from powder: the LEMONADE that is actually cocaine, which is very bad.