A few years ago I was attending a “girl’s night” complete with wine, games, face masks, and in-depth conversation.

The topic of our significant others came up and as if on cue, everyone started complaining about their partner and all of the things that they did wrong in the relationship.

Now, I am by no means innocent of this kind of behavior. There is no doubt in my mind that I chimed in with the negative qualities of whomever I was dating at the time because it was simply what everyone else was doing.

As the complaints continued, every single…

Over a year ago I wrote a piece about my toxic boss that seemed to resonate with my readers.

I went in-depth about my sexist and emotionally abusive leader who ended up getting fired due to a comment made to another woman saying that she only got promoted because she was attractive.

You would think that my toxic male boss cards would have been all used up but that wasn’t the case.

Several years ago I ended up in a similar situation at another company, however, this time I was much stronger emotionally and went into the situation well-aware of…

When I was in college I went through a very painful breakup. My boyfriend, Trevor, didn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship and decided to cut things off after we were together for almost a year.

Although I was absolutely heartbroken by his decision we ended things amicably and it seemed logical to try to stay friends.

Lo and behold, we ended up being friends with benefits for almost a year which meant holding on to romantic ties that resulted in us (mostly me) being much more hurt than if we just went our own way once things were…

I have a friend that is absolutely wonderful. She is thoughtful, beautiful, intelligent, successful, and in my eyes, she is the ultimate catch.

Although she wants to get married and have a family she has never had a serious relationship in the five years I have known her. Instead, she continually ends up with men who either want to be friends with benefits or want to keep her as a back-up option.

Several months I was ranting to my partner about how I couldn’t understand why my friend couldn’t have a healthy relationship when she is so amazing. …

Many years ago I poured my heart and soul into someone who did not deserve any part of me, as many people do when they end up falling for a toxic/narcissistic romantic partner.

These days I tell my story to help other victims of narcissistic abuse realize that they are not alone, and hopefully guide them in their healing journey.

Recently I was talking to a client of mine that is going through a situation of loving a narcissist who is also an addict. Their situation reminds me of my own, years ago with the Narcissist.

I have never really…

Many of the men I dated enjoyed the idea of me.

They liked how free-spirited I was, and how goofy I could be even in public… in the beginning.

As the relationship moved forward it would change. I needed to settle down, be a little quieter, wear a certain type of clothing that was more in line with what they liked.

Over and over again I would ask myself the same question.

Why did they start dating me if they just want me to be someone else? Who did they think I would turn out to be?

The reality is…

I love this piece Kara! I try to consistently refer to it as narcissistic abuse in my pieces in order to not excuse the behavior and ensure it is still being recognized as abuse.

I highlighted your quote because I believe this a nuance to narcissistic abuse that has layer upon layer of manipulation. I encountered abuse prior to my narcissistic abuser but it was not the same level of manipulation at least in my experience.

Thank you so much for such a fantastic and informative article!

Due to being home-schooled and never attending public school, I was a very shy ten-year-old.

My father had recently ripped me, my mother, and my younger brother, to a new state across the country, which meant leaving my cousins, friends, and everyone I had ever known in the dust.

Making friends when you are ten is already hard enough I imagine, but combine that with a lack of social awareness and a controlling religious father and you have quite the combination.

When I finally met several other girls who were also homeschooled (albeit with parents that were much less strict)…