I faced what needed to change at my very core
There are trials in life that can challenge us to the point where we want to give up.
One such experience that can cause us to question the very reality in which we live, is when we reach the bitter end of a toxic relationship.
After going through a painful break-up with a narcissistic and abusive man, my mental health was in the gutter, and I was exhausted, frustrated, and angry. Questions that often came into my mind were as follows:
Why do I have to work on myself?
Why does the toxic person get to just “walk away”?
What…
#2. You may want to try to keep things on the down-low.
I have a confession to make that often surprises even the closest people in my life.
My partner and I met at work. We started off as friends, it turned into a romance, and we ended up keeping it a secret until he left the company to pursue a new opportunity. We no longer work together and have been together happily for years, but because it’s such a controversial topic, I want to touch on it.
Dating someone at work is extremely tricky. Although at times it does end up ending successfully, many times it doesn’t, and it’s going to…
Therapists are not exempt from lying to vulnerable patients for their own gain
Over a year ago I connected with someone on a social media platform. This individual has hundreds of thousands of followers and is a therapist/life coach for victims of narcissistic abuse. At one point he even provided me great insight/feedback into how he has built up his business.
Earlier this week, I learned from another content creator that he is apparently posing as a therapist and charging women who have been through narcissistic abuse hundreds or even thousands of dollars. What do they get after paying him? …
Accepting and appreciating my body has been one of the hardest personal challenges I have ever faced.
I was fifteen years old when I was informed that men would be tempted by my body and it was a dangerous weapon that I should shield from their eyes, lest I cause them to lust.
Let me backtrack for a moment.
For my entire adolescence, I had been the nerdy, tall, glasses-wearing girl. Although I was attracted to boys and craved someone’s attention and admiration, it hadn’t happened yet.
Until finally, a boy, Jeremy, in my strict evangelical Christian group noticed me.
For the first time in my life, I was desired. Night after night we spent on AOL…
Are you saying it to “speed things along?”
There are certain milestones that happen in almost every relationship. The first time you hold hands, the first time you kiss, the first time you spend the night at each other’s place, etc.
If things continue going well after those milestones there is an inevitable phrase on the horizon that always feels difficult to navigate.
Someone eventually breaks the ice and says the simple phrase that can make or break a relationship depending on the timing…“I love you.”
Based on my experience there never seemed to be a “right” moment to say these words. Should you wait a few weeks…
#3. Thou shall not assume that either person in the relationship is a mind-reader
A few weeks ago I was visiting with a friend who brought up something called “relationship commandments.”
“Relationship Commandments?” I was perplexed but utterly fascinated by what came next.
My friend explained that she considers relationship commandments to be agreed-upon rules that you and your partner follow for the betterment of your quality of life together. I realized that my partner and I do have certain “rules” that we have agreed on.
Curious, I began asking some other friends what they adhered to within the confines of their relationship.
Here are the top commandments that I heard from friends that…
#3. Schedule time in the bedroom to try something “new”
I have often heard people in long-term relationships say that love inevitably fades over time.
When I was younger, I doubted these claims and thought that if I found the “right person” things would always be exhilarating. As I grew up I discovered the unfortunate truth that things can easily become routine and less exciting, especially in a long-term relationship that spans over years or decades.
I absolutely love my partner, but I have to be honest, there are days when I feel a bit of a struggle and find it difficult not to reflect on the early honeymoon stage…
You are not alone my friend
Last week I posted a short video on the effects dating a narcissist had on me after leaving the relationship.
As of now, the video has over 30,000 views and there were dozens of comments showcasing that it resonated with numerous users on the platform. Within those comments, victims of narcissistic abuse expanded on their stories and experiences. Within their stories arose a common theme that made my heart absolutely ache…
“I’m trying to discover my sense of self again…”
“He broke my soul, I left without a support system…’
“I don’t know who I am, what I like, I…
Let’s just say I didn’t handle it in the most mature way
Recently my boyfriend and I stopped by my Dad’s house to visit for the day. We were in the area due to our road trip and I told him that we would be coming around a week in advance.
Prior to us arriving at my Dad’s house, I expressed concern to my boyfriend that my Dad may try to coerce me into seeing my little brother.
To provide you some background, I haven’t seen my little brother in three years. I suspect that he could suffer from narcissistic personality disorder and our relationship grew extremely toxic when we were in…
#3. I faced the trauma that I had been running from for years
For over a decade I went through relationship after relationship that followed the same script. I would jump in headfirst, we would fall in “love,” and then anywhere from six months to a year in, I would slowly distance myself and eventually move on.
None of those relationships were with someone that I wanted to build a permanent future with, so part of me assumed that I didn’t really need to work on myself.
Then, I met someone who was everything I had ever wanted in a partner. He was driven, adventurous, thoughtful, and we complimented each other extremely well.
…
Carrie Wynn
❦ Writer & Relationship Consultant on narcissism, overcoming abuse & trauma, and self-love. Contact me @ Blog: carriewynn.com Instagram: carrie_wynnmusings
