They play the “boyfriend/girlfriend” role without actually committing — It was a Friday night brimming with possibility and excitement. Single in a new city, I was excited to meet my date that evening, Rob. Before the date, I took a couple of sips of wine for a little liquid courage, as it was my first “real” blind date that…

Four signs that you are entering the next chapter in your journey — From the outside looking in, someone who has never gone through narcissistic abuse would assume that leaving is the most challenging part. The truth is that the hardest part comes after you leave the narcissist. Staying away for good is one battle in itself. The other is accepting what happened…

Don’t assume every person genuinely wants for you to be happy — My fiance’ is a very private person. He is cautious regarding what he shares with others, including his closest friends and family. I am the complete opposite. I have been an open book throughout my life, especially with my close friends. Relationships are a huge part of our lives, and…

Both parties have to come with a willingness to work on the relationship. — There is a piece of my past that I have only shared with several people in my life. In the initial stages of dating my fiance,’ my best friend accidentally alluded to this incident in front of him. When questioned, I lied and quickly changed the subject. …

They will weaponize the future to keep their victim from leaving — If I were to outline the most manipulative things that the narcissist did, it wouldn’t have been the apparent charm or the violent behavior/rage that would transpire when he didn’t get his way. No, the most devastating manipulation happened subtly. It happened in the moments when the narcissist would casually…

What two people want for the future can end up being completely different — Back in college, my best friend and I lived in a house with several male roommates. One of them was incredibly sweet and had a wonderful girlfriend he had been dating for years. We were entirely convinced they would get married. The “happy” couple ended up moving to another state…

“I never did that last night.” — Invalidation is one, if not the most powerful form of manipulation. A narcissist will utilize invalidation to devalue their victims until they acquire complete emotional control. Before narcissistic abuse, my experiences, thoughts, and feelings had always been validated and acknowledged. After being in a relationship with an emotionally and physically…

They struggle to put anyone before themselves — Victims often rationalize the toxic behavior and constant mood swings that accompany a relationship with a narcissist. Horrific events transpire, and in the aftermath, we whisper to ourselves a phrase. It is a phrase repeated as tears stream down our faces, and uncontrollable sobs shake us to our core. “They…

People tend to stick with what is accessible and what they already know. — Trouble seems to be brewing in the relationship department. A couple I know just broke up after five years of dating. Several clients I coach are facing constant conflict in interactions with their partners and struggling to figure out why they cannot make their relationship work. Throughout different seasons it…