Why in the hell did I decide to follow my passion?

Oh, that’s right. That whole rant about my “sovereignty.” Well, that came back to bite me in the ass.

I’ve taken my leap. Not a very high one and nowhere near the deep end but I’ve jumped. I’ve kept up with this blog (admittedly there were a couple of weeks I missed) and I just launched my first serial last week. Both of these ventures are a way for me to flex my writing muscle, get more practice in, experiment with how and what I write and to showcase a little of myself. It has been an incredibly rewarding process so far. The fact that I can see everything I’ve posted and get metrics back on how many people have read and liked what I’ve written is amazing. I am truly humbled and terrified at the realization that those numbers I see behind-the-scenes are actual, living, breathing people who took four to six minutes out of their day, their life, to read the silly words of some amateur. It is something I am still processing and something I don’t think I’ll ever really be comfortable with. (But thank you, thank you, thank you and know that I will do my best to honor your generosity by bringing as much value to you as my talents will allow.)

What I hadn’t counted on was the marketing part of all this. I knew from the jump I would have to market my own work. I get that traditionally published authors still have to do a lot of the marketing legwork themselves. I understand that this is the price of poker. But some part of me still held out hope that it wouldn’t be this much work.

What I’ve really struggled with is engagement. I’m on Twitter, I’m just not saying shit. (That isn’t fair. Let’s just say, not a lot of shit.) And this isn’t to say I haven’t made any progress, I have. I picked up several new followers last week. (Thank you as well. Your presence both invigorates and intimidates the hell out of me.) I just feel the whole thing is odd and I know that feeling is something I will have to overcome because I am not going to be making things easier for myself. No, no. That’s not how I operate.

I have plans, Dear Reader and they involve throwing myself out there even more. I intend to put out a podcast tackling a range of subjects in the near future and I’m looking forward to launching a YouTube channel as well. I’ve also been working on some marketing strategies that I am dying to employ once I’m ready to publish my first book.

The bottom line is this. Has all this been difficult? Yes. But at least I’m struggling for myself. This isn’t “day-job” bullshit, this is mine. I own it. My success or failure is a direct consequence of my action or inaction. Period. So what if it’s hard or it makes me feel uneasy? If there is one thing I know about myself, it is that the more pressure I put myself under, the more I fight to push through. Guess I’m just a masochist like that.