How much commitment do I want vs need?
I´ve been following this lady for a long time I guess it´s been years since I started following her on Instagram (and then moved to her newsletter) — a recent newsletter about freedom vs. commitment stuck with me.
It feels like I don´t care about anything anymore. Everything feels like a burden. Everything I do is a chore. I´ve stopped caring about almost everything I do, with house chores and “my” real-life female tribe sharing the first place.
I don´t know if I am overcommited, undercommited, or committed to the wrong things. Or a little bit of everything. Or something different.
I am filing my to-do list with items about life admin and will start organizing an apartment renovation and moving there soon. So there is a lot of organizing, decluttering, and busy work ahead.
It means a lot to me to move together with my boyfriend, I don´t complain about the fact itself. But I am so busy (or just tired) that I don´t see myself being picky about anything related to this project. I see that I´ll be focused on getting this project done as soon as possible. Most likely I´ll neglect the most important parts of this project: paying attention to what I want in my life and preferences concerning furniture design, routines to establish while living together… t
You know, all the little details that create the feeling of home, feeling welcome, loved, comfy…
The day before publishing this post we got the approval for our dream apartment: spacious, saving 50+ commuting time, very cheap for this size. But it also requires some DIY improvement like a new white color on the walls, an electrician paid by the landlord will replace the cooker… And I know that he and I will have a lot of smaller disputes about these issues. He is a design nerd by heart, but I have moved like 15 times in 15 years since I majority. So I stopped caring about like 80% of home design issues.
Concerning my social circle (or lack of it) I want to join events that feel right only. I don´t feel committed to joining the almost monthly events these days anymore. After living in the new apartment for like 1–2 months I´ll join 1–2 in-person classes like pilates, meditation or so to make new friends. Maybe I´ll join a gym as well and try to make some gym buddies. During the process, it´s time to let go of like 20 of the 23 people I call my “female tribe”.
I´ll take the chance of moving as a chance to do another major decluttering. As well as an upgrade on my PKM system towards efficiency/sync issues. I´ll try to make as less commitments as possible during the next 2 months of prepping, moving, and settling in. Just making a home and doing little excursions such as to the local zoo will be enough for one month. No worries: I´ll continue posting here as well.
I´ll keep you updated.
Read you next week.
