Super-Way-Too-Early 2017 Oscar Predictions

Well, 8 months of 2016 gone and so far it’s been a shit year for movies. I think it’s safe to say that most Oscar Nominees are going to come from the final 4 months from movies I have not yet seen.

So, without having actually seen any of these films let’s try and predict who will get nominated anyway…

Best Picture

Silence — If it indeed does come out this year it’s already the favourite to take home a lot of awards. Martin Scorsese took his time with this one and I expect the quality will follow.

Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk — Great premise, great director, and a great cast. Stupid name but we won’t hold that against it.

La La Land — It’s a musical and even I want to watch it.

The Light Between Oceans — “Oscar Bait: The Movie”

Moonlight — the small movie that gets on the ballot but has no chance of winning but deserves its spot

Best Director

Martin Scorsese “Silence” — Because he’s Martin Scorsese

Ang Lee “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk” — Because he’s Ang Lee

Damien Chazelle “La La Land” — Because it will be beautiful and stylish

Tom Ford “Nocturnal Animals” — Because it will be beautiful and stylish

Jeff Nichols “Loving” — The ‘sorry we haven’t nominated you yet’ nomination

Best Actress

Emma Stone “La La Land” — it’ll be a really entertaining performance

Alicia Vikander “The Light Between Oceans” — She won last year and this is an Oscar bait movie

Ruth Negga “Loving” — I hear good things

Amy Adams “Nocturnal Animals” — Her performance in Arrival will be better but she’ll be nominated for this

Viola Davis “Fences” — Not for Suicide Squad

Best Actor

Andrew Garfield “Silence” — or whoever else is the star of that movie

Jake Gyllenhaal “Nocturnal Animals” — The apology for snubbing you

Ryan Gosling “La La Land” — wide ranging performance

Mahershala Ali “Moonlight” — just looks like a great role

Michael Keaton “The Founder” — man on fire

Best Supporting Actress

Kristen Stewart “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk” — Guys she’s actually a pretty good actress

Tilda Swinton “Hail Caesar!” — She’s awesome in everything

Naomie Harris “Moonlight” — Looks like a gusty/ugly role

Michelle Williams “Manchester by the Sea” — gotta throw in something for this movie I guess

Rachel Weisz “The Light Between Oceans” — just because

Best Supporting Actor

Steve Martin “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk” — or someone else from this film

Liam Neeson “Silence” — safe bet

John Goodman “10 Cloverfield Lane” — the one we all hope for who won’t actually win

Jeff Bridges “Hell or High Water” — the apology for Crazy Heart snub

Michael Shannon “Loving” — Teaming up with Jeff Nichols so seems about right

Revisions coming after I see the actual movies…