Power Ranks & Division Previews
And so it begins:
Week 1 is only a few short days away before we can watch real professional football in front of our grotesquely large television sets to help us disassociate ourselves from another day in this reality. However, while the NFL can help give us a distraction of our impending doom, the Raugh Out Roud Reague gives us a purpose in life.
Kickoff on Thursday is the start of the 16 week sprint that we have collectively spent countless hours preparing for just so that we can have the opportunity to shove each others faces in how bad the losers are at things they put effort into.
Week 1 Preview:
Afternoon Delight vs. The Ghost of Al Davis
Starting off the gauntlet that will be the Doten Division is a match-up between somehow perennial front-runner, The Ghost of Al Davis, and team bounce-back candidate, Afternoon Delight.
Story points: Afternoon Delight’s 6 RBs have a total of 5 years playing position at the professional level, which isn’t exactly lovely. On the other hand, The Ghost of Al Davis’ #1 RB is standing pat with his position of “Fuck you, pay me.”
Prediction: LeVeon Bell shows up and drops 16 points despite having done nothing except spending the summer working on his rap album. The Ghost of Al Davis is a 9 point favorite.

The Aborted vs. It Ertz When Eifert
Starting off the Brian Urlacher division is a game between the spunky unloved team known as The Aborted and the RORR team that decided Alfred Morris is still a starting NFL-caliber running back.
Story points: Will The Aborted be able to turn back Father Time for a few weeks and get points out of the RB combo of Marshawn Lynch, LeSean McCoy, and Adrian Peterson? On the other side, It Ertz When Eifert might be actually give a handy another owner off just to get a running back who is the starter on his own team. Or he may save that ‘old fashioned’ for Hue Jackson to ensure that Josh Gordon is actually played week 1.
Prediction: The 2015 RB squad actually looks pretty good but can’t make up for the terrible WR group behind Odell. It Ertz When Eifert is a 4 point favorite.

Fantasy Unabiding vs. Fighting Whities
Another intra-divisional match-up features the reigning champion Fantasy Unabiding vs the 2017 Comeback of the Year team Fighting Whities which may be the most high-profile game of the week.
Story Points: Both of these teams truly came out of nowhere in 2017 on the back of some expert rookie RBs and some surprise breakouts/ beneficiaries of teammates’ injuries. This is the first chance to prove that 2017 wasn’t a one-year-wonder and that the teams are actually legit.
Prediction: We are looking at a clsoe one, but Todd Gurley comes in to seal it on Monday night. Fighting Whities is an 8 point favorite.

Release the Kringen vs. Nuclear Fallout
Perennial threat meets perennial underwhelmer (and bellyacher) in Week 1 in a match-up between what appears to be two division favorites.
Story Points: Both teams are relying on players to bounce-back from season ending injuries and under-performing years. That said, both rosters are pretty solid in the starting lineup and could combine for the most points of any match-up.
Prediction: Nuclear Fallout’s bad luck continues by facing the Week 1 points leader. Release the Kringen is a 12 point favorite.

Fantasy Costco vs. Anarchy PD
Last year’s cellar dweller faces the final team bounced from playoff contention in a game where both teams look to better their luck from 2017.
Story Points: Anarchy PD’s lineup is better than it first appears and could put up serious points if Saquon Barkley is 1/18th as good as advertised. Fantasy Costco was a bit quieter on offseason deals and comes in with nearly the same disappointing starting lineup from 2017.
Prediction: This matchup is a bit of a layup for Fantasy Costco with Anarchy PD relying on instant points from new players. That said, Fantasy Costco has a penchant for shooting himself in the foot. Fantasy Costco is a 10 point favorite.

Big Ginga vs. Norse Code
The already-injured Norse Code has an early season test against the reigning 2nd place Big Ginga whose team really wishes the first couple weeks of the season would just pass.
Story Points: Relief was ready to come to Norse Code with the return of Allen Robinson, but he has already lost his shiny #2 overall pick to a torn ACL. Big Ginga is faced with a difficult job filling out his roster Week 1 as he has several players he was looking to as key contributors who are stuck injured, suspended, or simply unemployed (looking at you, Dez).
Prediction: No Ingram and no Alshon take the bottom out of Big Ginga’s scoring as they are replaced by average flex players and cost him the game. Norse Code is a 7 point favorite.

