A Millennial Responds To Our National Cereal Bowl Washing Moral Crisis

“Almost 40 percent of the millennials surveyed by Mintel for its 2015 report said cereal was an inconvenient breakfast choice because they had to clean up after eating it.”

— New York Times (This is a NEWS article.)

“Few things are as painless to prepare as cereal. Making it requires little more than pouring something (a cereal of your choice) into a bowl and then pouring something else (a milk of your choice) into the same bowl. Eating it requires little more than a spoon and your mouth. The food, which Americans still buy $10 billion of annually, has thrived over the decades, at least in part, because of this very quality: Its convenience.

“…A large contingent of millennials are uninterested in breakfast cereal because eating it means using a bowl, and bowls don’t clean themselves (or get tossed in the garbage). Bowls, kids these days groan, have to be cleaned.”

— Washington Post

Before you go on any longer

1. Let me remind you about the cereal barnacles that lodge themselves underneath a film of… sugar? wax? silicone? if you do not wash your cereal bowl FORTHWITH after you’re done eating. That shit does not even come off in the dishwasher. If you bask in your post-Froot Loops glow for even 90 seconds, the bowl has to be soaked and then scrubbed. This is too much effort for…
2. A nutritional wasteland of carbs. You have given me so much anxiety about the simple joy of a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch that the difficulty of washing the bowl is a factor. I know you, the red-blooded American baby boomers, are not going to enable obesity as a national epidemic and then huff about how people finally eliminated cereal from their diets. I KNOW YOU’RE NOT. You would never create a problem and then get mad about people trying to solve it.