24 QUICK, EASY AND EFFECTIVE WAYS TO DESTROY YOURSELF!

1. Get as stubborn as possible! (You’re enough as you are, deny every 
opportunity for learning, for making yourself better. Deny any thought that 
tells you to commit to changes that are within your reach. Why should you? 
The world doesn’t change for you, you shouldn’t either. It’s the world 
versus you, that’ll surely destroy you.

2. Hold on to grudges and memories of injustice! Those are your lifelong 
friends, and since you only talk about them, those are probably your only 
friends. Play the ‘victim’ card as much as possible so that good people go 
out of your life out of the fear of hurting you and the sadistic 
manipulative people get a custom made ‘victim’ to use for their own 
purpose. In the end, it’s you and your cats and your self-destroying 
fantasies.

3. Believe that everything should be under your control or there’s no 
point in controlling any aspect of your life. Why even bathe if the 
building superintendent is not willing to keep the water temperature 
constant each day, the water is either too hot or lukewarm. Rather quit 
having a bath, that’ll give you control over the situation.

4. Believe that everyone around you has an agenda; keep thinking about why 
people around you do things that they do! Deny the possibility that people 
can be spontaneous. Deny the possibility that people might do things out of 
simple pleasure principle. Everyone’s a scheming, cunning mastermind out to 
get you. So keep warm in your cocoon until of course you’re completely 
destroyed because of the loneliness.

5. Accept the fact that you’re a loser! Why would people give you any 
importance if you demand a certain respect from them? No no, don’t even 
try! Don’t ever communicate your needs. Rather try to keep thinking about 
how people don’t guess your needs telepathically and be bitter and passive 
aggressive in general about it. That’s right, you’re the misunderstood 
tragic case they show in the movies. Well done, you’ve made a work of art 
out of yourself.

6. Humor is the worst enemy of people like you! Don’t give any place to 
humor in your psyche. Take your life super-seriously. Disregard the 
positive things in your life completely (who asked for them, right?) and 
every negative thing that happens in your life is a direct attack on your 
ego and your mental health. Don’t let the negative stuff go man, it’s not 
good for you!

7. Punish the people who love you! Let your level of self-esteem (or lack 
thereof) reflect in your relationships. If someone does something for you 
out of care or affection, consider it as a trap because you’ll have to do 
something for them in return. If they are vulnerable around you, consider 
it their weakness and punish them for their weakness, that’s what they 
deserve for loving you. Be critical and hostile around everyone who’s nice 
to you, till they all leave you of course. People who love you have a 
hidden agenda, just run away from them.

8. Let your cynicism get the best of you! Be naïve around people who want 
to take advantage of you. The world is a bad place anyway, everyone’s a bad 
person anyway so if someone shows their true colors and actually treats you 
bad, it’s a good thing! Let them have it. You’re wasting your life anyway 
so reward them with your loyalty and support. Think of psychopaths as some 
kind of misunderstood tragic cases and surrender your boundaries to them, 
even till the moment they are hacking you to pieces in their bathtub.

9. Your dreams are impossible to achieve! How stupid do you think you are? 
Leave your dreams behind, work to achieve someone else’s dreams. Let them 
have the satisfaction at your expense.

10. Struggle to keep up with the standards that others set for you. No, 
you don’t get to decide what you want from your life. Respect everyone’s 
opinion about what and where you should be in your life, except your own. 
Get tired living life for others till the point you burn out completely. 
That’s a surefire way towards self- destruction.

11. Constantly compare yourself with others, see where you are lacking and 
keep sulking because of negative comparisons. Never pay attention to what 
you have, rather get sad over things you don’t have. Keep complaining since 
the universe doesn’t give you everything that you want. That’ll make your 
destruction that much spectacular.

12. Believe in god only to complain about what you don’t have. Pretend 
that god has all the time only to make your life miserable. Make believers 
and non-believers hate you equally.

13. Spend all your life perfecting yourself for one and one thing only. 
The ‘Blame Game’. There’s nothing liberating than blaming your failures 
onto others, especially the people close to you. Isolate yourself from 
everyone so that your self-destruction becomes so much spectacular.

14. You’re a victim! A victim of society, nature, nurture, fate and so on. 
Let it be anything, always make it about you by theorizing how everything 
around you is torturing you. Let yourself be the center of negative 
attention by being a sympathy seeking leech. Just know that people are 
looking at you with contempt for being such a whiney little child.That 
proves you’re a victim after all.

15. Never be clear in your communications; Never! Think of it this way, 
the less you reveal about yourself, the more mysterious you seem and that 
makes people think of you more, right? Isn’t that great, people thinking of 
you more! Such a celebrity you are! But think about this, are your 
mysteries worth people paying attention to you? Of course not! So yep, be 
as ambiguous as you can be while communicating your thoughts and feelings. 
Confuse people so much that they get convinced of your inability to be a 
genuine person.

16. Behind your façade of political correctness, be judgmental about 
everyone and everything! Someone’s too energetic, they must be on drugs. 
Someone’s too sluggish, they must be drunk. Someone’s overweight, they eat 
too much. Someone’s thin, they’re just a wannabe fashion model….You got the 
picture, project your self-hatred onto others by judging them for every 
little thing they have or do.

17. Let your self-talk be as much negative as possible. Always imagine 
things going wrong for you. Make it a habit of thinking about only the 
worst case scenarios. Fantasize about scenarios where you fail in your 
objective, only to fail spectacularly! Self-destruction, after all, is an 
art. You are the artist who instead of ‘creating’ a work of art; ‘became’ a 
work of art himself.

18. Talk only to preach! Be idealistic to such a degree that even you 
yourself feel suffocated in your own set of rules. Use rules of ethics and 
morality only to stop people from having fun even if they are not hurting 
anyone. Be the party pooper twenty four seven. Push everyone away under the 
name of righteousness; just to make everyone feel that they are morally 
inferior to you.

19. Make impossible promises, because why not? You are the most 
misunderstood, most underrated person in the world, remember? What better 
way to prove it than making false, unattainable promises so that when you 
fail to deliver them; people will sympathize with you more! Good thinking!

20. Sacrifice for others, especially when you can make a scene and score 
some sympathy. Sacrifice even when the sacrifice is not needed. So what 
nobody asked for it, you know somebody had to make a fool of themself! Why 
not let it be you?

21. Never verbalize what you want. Keep your needs and want to yourself. 
Assume others to be a bunch of telepaths. Which means they should 
automatically understand what you need or want, right? Oh, they are not 
giving you what you want even with all the passive aggressive signs and 
signals? Such a bunch of jerks they are for not knowing what you want 
without you telling them!

22. Lies are your tools to get ahead in life. Lie so much and so 
religiously that you start believing your lies. People call it delusions, 
but what do they know? Be the king of your own world and become 
disinterested in the painful real world. People in the real world expect 
you to reciprocate with participation, how could they?

23. Normal people fantasize about getting rich, famous and/or powerful. But 
you are different, you fantasize about explosive, spectacular 
self-destruction. You are a work of art yourself, never forget that. Your 
role models are the tragic characters from TV and movies, who dies to make 
everyone cry at the season finale.

24. Be a ‘Good Example’ of a ‘Bad Example’! Take revenge on your 
environment by strictly being non- cooperative with life. The universe 
didn’t give you the life you wanted, right? No, no, don’t even try for the 
life you wanted. Just be a burnout! Carry your depression, social anxiety 
and subsequent self-sabotaging rage on your sleeve, don’t ever seek help. 
Let your problems be the reason for you being a drunk, druggie recluse! 
That’s the final touch of your journey of destroying yourself. All the best!