What I learned from the book Good Anxiety

Recently I read the book Good Anxiety by Wendy Suzuki. From this, I learned some techniques to reframe my bad anxiety into good anxiety. Many of us immediately think of anxiety as a bad thing. In reality, it’s just an alarm going off in your body about a new situation or feeling.

Reframe your perspective

A common theme Wendy mentions in this book is reframing your perspective. Something negative will always pop up in all of our lives but we need to be mindful of how we react to it. Sometimes just taking a step back and acknowledging that this is a new and possibly stressful situation helps. Learning to take these negative thoughts and experiences and turning your perspective on what you can do to steer yourself in the right direction is key to using your anxiety for good.

I never looked at anxiety as a good thing up until now. I always thought it was just something I was going to have to suffer with for the rest of my life. Instead of having this mindset, Good Anxiety teaches you to look at anxiety as a sign of an opportunity to grow. We can only grow if we get uncomfortable. I’ve talked about this in previous posts, but your comfort zone will kill you. Getting out of that zone can be extremely uncomfortable sometimes, but try and use that anxiety as a motivator. Once you get through that new experience, you’ll gain so much more than if you avoided it altogether.

Feel the negative feelings

Whenever we feel anxiety or depression kicking in, we naturally get the urge to suppress those negative feelings. This is actually not a productive practice at all. In fact, it’s beneficial to stop and absorb those feelings for what they are. Don’t dwell in them, but recognize what you’re feeling. Once you recognize those feelings, you’ll start to understand the meaning behind them. It gives you an opportunity to connect the dots and understand your triggers.

Learning what your triggers are is a huge win because then you can use that new information to figure out coping strategies to overcome the negative feelings you’re experiencing. Trust me, this comes with time. I’m still figuring out what my triggers are and what exactly gives me the anxiety I experience every day. But something that I realized recently is that I can’t hide the bad feelings. I need to give myself space to feel them even if it’s uncomfortable.

I always thought I shouldn’t show negative emotions around friends and family because then no one would want to be around me. People in my life recently have reminded me that I don’t have to always be a happy and positive person to be around. Everyone has bad days. If someone is coming down on you for having a bad day, then you shouldn’t surround yourself with that type of person anyway. Ignoring your feelings will not get you anywhere. Trust me, I’ve done this before and it doesn’t end well. Since you are keeping your emotions pent up, sooner or later you will have a mental breakdown.

Write down your anxieties

Writing down your anxieties whether it’s on paper or on your phone can really put things in perspective. Basically, the book tells you to write down the top 5 triggers of your anxieties or worries. I ended up writing 4. Next, you write down any recent events that have activated those triggers and what that situation made you feel. This exercise won’t instantly solve all your problems, but it makes you become more aware of the why behind your feelings.

After you recognize the triggers, you can start to work on coping methods that would help simmer down the negative energy you’re feeling about a certain situation. I’ll give an example from 1 of my 4 triggers. For me, I get some anxiety revolving around relationships. It could be a friend or romantic situation. I frequently get nervous that they’ll leave me if I make one little misstep. I recognized a little while ago that this stems from the separation anxiety I experienced as a child. So, for me, I have to change my mindset. I have to constantly be aware that this anxiety is something my brain has essentially made up. The worries I’m having are not real. Recently I’ve even talked about it openly with my boyfriend and friends. That made me feel even better because now they know what I’ve been struggling with. Communicating can make a large part of your worries dissipate.

So, write down your triggers, talk about them with people you’re close with, and recognize coping strategies to lessen your worries.

Final Thoughts

Another fascinating aspect is that Wendy the author is also a neuroscientist, so she delves deep into the scientific reactions that happen in your brain and what it looks like when you are experiencing anxiety. I’ve never really looked into that side of anxiety, so it was really interesting to get a new perspective on what my body is physically doing when I worry.

I really enjoyed Good Anxiety. It was a great reminder that there is a way to shift your anxiety into something positive. I’m still working on that of course, but I would highly recommend anyone who struggles with anxiety or even just worries every now and then, to read this book.