Magic Isn’t Just for the Boys No Mo’

Magic is cool for all ages & this we know, but did you also know that magic is also cool for all genders??? NO! Cause nobody does.

Here’s the scoop:

I was trying to pick out a cool new name to start my new life, and my first thought was, “ALAS I SHALL ACQUIRE THE MONIKER OF A STREET MAGICIAN”. It is the coolest thing you can be besides a pick-up artist.

When I went to the internet, which I have been warned against because women are too frail for ones and zeroes and pixels, I noticed a trend.

There ain’t not no lady magicians no where no how.

Look at this bullshit here, a perfectly cool male magician is the face of this Magician Name Generator, but when I went to select the gender that I find myself aligned with in both body and spirit, I find that it does not exist.

I know what you’re thinking, use a Witch Name Generator like all the other cool magic women. But I wanted to be a magician, not a magicianne.

Above you’ll see that there is not one woman in the top 35 magicians of all time. When you Google something, always it is a list of the most popular things from most to least. The man with the many hands and fire is not very popular because he is confusing. But, the man with the top hat and sparks is very popular because he wears a top hat. Some of the most famous magicians aren’t even people, they are drawings.

When you Google something, always it is a list of the most popular things from most to least.

Across the top there are suggestions for other words you can add to “magician” to get different results. It wasn’t until the fourth option that they landed on labeling possible magicians by my gender, but then they quickly reverted back to calming words for magician fanatics everywhere “child”, “boy”, “male”, “dead”. Ah we’ve almost forgotten about the absurdity of a female magician in the ritual chanting of these core magic words.

I found my focus again and clicked on “female” to get some variety. The image search is mostly sad women in revealing costumes. I switched tabs over to “all” to expand my search. 2 of the most famous female magicians aren’t even people, they are icons depicting a neckless man. Also one of the most famous female magicians has been dead almost 100 years, and she was likely just another boring ol’ witch with real powers.

Here is a list of reasons that more women should become magicians

  1. The majority of women also have hands
  2. Hands are the most important part of magic
  3. All women have skull meat (aka a brain)
  4. You need good skull meat to be a fast thinker
  5. Fast thinkers are womens too
  6. We all deserve to be born into a pile of playing cards, not just baby boys.
  7. Most of these aren’t reasons
  8. All women look good in top hats
  9. Eggs
  10. Milk
  11. Cereal
  12. Lunch meat
  13. Bread

Now imagine a future with me, I believe we are thinking of the same future.. This may be because I am attempting magic on you. In this future you see…

Did I get it???? It is a lady magician with all her clothes on because the magic she is performing is enticing enough for her all male audience. She can perform her masterful tricks and that is all that they want from her and nothing else! Yes, she is beautiful, but they care only for her talents in the realm of magic during the 5 minute set they have allowed her.

Congratulations!