An Open Letter To a Good Man
In case you feel wronged by the #MeToo conversation
Listen. I know you’re hurting. I know that you did not grope, did not rape, did not molest. I understand you feel the broad brush is splattering too close, and you don’t want that scarlet letter on your forehead.
You didn’t do it. In fact, there was that time when you actively prevented it.
You like and respect women; it disheartens you that so many are so angry. And it feels like we’re angry at you. The temptation to cry out “not ALL men!” bubbles up in your throat like nausea. (And what you really mean is, “not me!”)
Remember when you were little and your sister got hurt and she was crying, and your first impulse was to yell “it wasn’t me! I didn’t do it!”?
Check that impulse. Your sister is hurt, and she is crying. Can we table your guilt-free angelic innocence for later? Can we see to her wound? Can you say, “I’m sorry you’re hurting”? Can you say “can I get you some ice?”? Can you say, “she’s hurt — get help!”? Can you say “what do you need?”?
What we need here is some good old-fashioned Vergangenheitsbewältigung.
Look it up. It’s a German word to refer to the collective struggle of the German people to come to terms with the atrocities of the Nazi…
