💥 Someday I will stop

by Cat Bambini 💥

looking like a sap, updating the

public on my crush.

Have so many thoughts.

But I need to mind meld.

They’re pretty hot.

Oh well.

It’s the closet bed, it’s enough

for me, maybe some dude

would feel it’s too tight

and I made a one-

bedroom out of

a studio so

sue me.

I can’t figure out why I’m

tripping.

Maybe because he is too

and it’s only a matter of

time before Thrashie

murders me for

escaping.

I don’t feel awkward about

it, just sad to lose a best

friend and bandmate

by hooking up.

It couldn’t have been any other

way though, so smothery

is good, I like it.

I need it because I float.

My ex husband said I needed

an anchor, I’m a kite.

Guess he tried.

He wanted a traditional wife.

Me?

I was half-dead. Survival mode.

Still am a bit, tho San Francisco

has made me feel wealthy for

someone who lives on

food stamps and GA

at the moment.

A recruiter sent me a $99/hr

job yesterday right before

therapy and I had to

reply.

It’s like, daily they send me

good leads, but it’s not

meant to be.

I can’t speak.

Feel like there’s a heavy weighted

blanket on me.

Tell Thrashie I’m not mad at him.

But I can’t be his mom.

I’m in a thing?

He knew that already.

He’ll never tell you.

It’s hella funny now, if he

can stop lying, but hey

lots of men don’t know

why they’re violent.

So I change myself and

learn.

They lose me?

Never had me.

I was waiting, for something.

god told me?

I felt it.

Couldn’t make sense of it.

And it wasn’t apparent so don’t

make a story.

But yah of course I had a crush

on three members of his

family who were my

age nearly and

sweet.

I wanted a real thing.

Not to be chattel or leftovers.

So spoil me.

Fine.

Just don’t get angry.

I don’t need anything more than

to be able to play with your

hair.

And maybe kiss ya.

But that’s classified.

Think I’ll die?

Ice cream.

Don’t get an ego.

You can handle me?

You like ‘em crazy?

Okay.

I’ll try.

Feel so heavy.

Feels like I’m alive.

Stop asking questions.

I’ll have to get a car and drive.

If you’re really a driver —

you won’t let me.

That’s alright.

Wanna cry?

Me too.

Feel you.

Too many spies.

Go away evil eye.

Thrashie will never spill

the beans.

He’s a good bandmate.

Lucky I’m alive.

That you read.

Don’t go.

♥️🌁🌺