Things Dudes Have Said to Me After Sex
1 min readApr 25, 2016
- is my apple watch under the bed?
- you’re like Amy Schumer hot
- you were like really into it
- do you know Bon Iver?
- do you know what Bon Iver means though?
- I’m considering an MFA
- your butt looks like an old painting
- you look like a combination of Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry
- you’ve gotten better at that
- what day is it?
- do you have a droid charger?
- I’m 19
- I can’t drive you home I’m on shrooms
- my brother is a vine star
- you seemed more like a virgo online
- those are oak trees
- cigarettes are cartoonish
- oh I’ve been in jail
- are you still doing improv?
- want to come to my karate class?
- I have a boat
- see you around
- do I look like hozier?
- let’s go to the whole foods
- boobs are cool
- I have to go work on my sound collage
- I’m 6'3", so…
- I’m starting a webseries when I get back in town
- me and my boss are musicians
- I have the best sound system in lower manhattan
- squirt comes out the pee-hole
- do you know how to make a private facebook event public?
- have you seen master of none?
- was that so bad?
