I hate New Year’s resolutions. Not because I don’t believe in goals, or working on myself, or the new year as a time to reflect and adjust… but because I’m tired of focusing on the ways that I am inadequate and need to do better. I hate seeing my friends worry about what they need to do better — especially right now, when the world is selling so many of us short.
So for 2018 I made a different list, and I asked a bunch of friends to do the same. This is the list of things I’m freeing myself from in 2018. My #2018Liberation list. Join us? I want to read yours, too.
- Feeling obligated to apologize for things I have no reason to feel sorry for. #sorrynotsorry
- Sacrificing my own priorities for things other people don’t even care that much about. “How important is this to you?” Is a good question. It’s okay to ask it.
- Technically speaking.
- Empathy for men worried about the “sudden” “backlash” against sexual harassment. I’m reliving every traumatic moment of unwanted touching here, all out of fucks for how you feel, bro.
- Finishing books I am not enjoying or learning from. Looks at The Gift — yeah it’s not me, it’s you.
- Thankless emotional labour. Requests for this made after 2015 are not being honored. This includes unpaid “diversity” work.
- Doing things because I’m flattered to be asked at all. This way token woman talks lie.
- Any interest in Brexit / Trump voters upset about being called “racist”. I’m upset about losing my European citizenship got no sads for you. Racists.
- Pressure to be a certain way online (or IRL). Sometimes I’m 😡 sometimes I’m 😭 sometimes I’m 😏 really I have a full range of human emotion and that’s NORMAL. I’m not always serious. Being cute is FUN!
- Everything needing to be FOR something. Not everything needs to have a purpose to be worthwhile. I have value independent of capitalism (so do you!). Thanks to my friend Nomi who taught me this.
- Guilt about having a life outside of work. My team and I build things for humans — we do better at that when we’re human, too. And even if that wasn’t the case… it’s okay to be human.
- The UK. Hello, Brexile.
- Media that doesn’t feature women and people of color.
- Apologizing for my achievements. After trying both, I am confident that it’s better to be alone than with a man who needs me to be smaller.