Psy-Tap Therapy Was THE Answer
Around 13 years ago, I experienced psychological trauma that lasted for nearly 4 years.
During that time, I frequently had to respond to new events. New stressful situations. New terrible news and all this led to me experiencing moments of sheer panic, a racing heartbeat, feeling like I was losing control of me as a person and the most terrible insomnia as panic kept me awake all night.
Over time, I worked so hard to cope, manage and package away what had happened. I threw myself head first into learning a new business that I had started. I worked all hours and found life changing results. In the meantime, I thought that if I tried to forget about what had happened, then I might be able to go forward.
I read books. Many books. I listened to podcasts and applied myself to work and over time, the pain faded but did not disappear.
I learnt to forgive and learnt how to be grateful for everything I had but still I could not move on. It hurt so much.
I learnt that the brain has a way of keeping bad experiences and using them to reinforce fears. There were certainly moments when I felt that I was back in the midst of the trauma. Some days I just could not seem to get on with life. What happened seemed omnipresent to me.
Amongst the many books I read, was the author Joe Vitale. He featured in the film “The Secret” and was a prolific writer. He mentioned many times that the way to go forward required clearing of the mind. I remembered thinking that I needed this so badly. To be clear of everything that had happened. However, he mentioned some methods that I just couldn’t relate to, others that I adopted immediately and there were others I just could not understand. I noticed some minor changes by taking note of what he said. I just wanted to feel better. I wanted the flashbacks to go.
However, I still had some days when I just really didn’t want to or couldn’t talk to anyone. I do not consider myself a negative thinker or depressed in any way. I did not wallow in the past. I tried so hard to move on but there was a so called “elephant” in the room everywhere I turned.
Fast forward many years to a month ago, I read online that there was a new therapy that might help me. Prior to this, I had not seen a therapist as I did not feel that this was relevant, partly because through my nursing career I had learnt that therapy isn’t always the answer. I also just didn’t want to talk about “it”.
Instinctively, I felt that I had a “programming” problem that needed undoing. I suppose I was just waiting for something to help me in this way. Over time, I did look up various treatments and tried a couple too but they did not have any impact on how I felt. When I came upon this particular treatment, I knew that I had found the answer for me.
The therapy is called Psy Tap. I was intrigued about it because within it was was EDMR or Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. I had learnt from a psychiatrist friend that this was found to be extremely effective in helping people affected with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Psychological Trauma. My friend knew nothing of my problem and I did not feel able to talk to him about this treatment for me.
Being private person, I was looking for someone who did not know me at all. I was also increasingly thinking that hypnotherapy might assist me too. To my relief, Psy-Tap consists of a combination of therapies and seemed to be just what I had been waiting for. To quote from the Psy-Tap website, “it draws on …NLP, Hypnosis, Psychotherapy and many Psychosensory based energy psychologies” to create a fast and effective system of treatment.
I felt that from my traumatic experience, I had been left with a mild form of PTSD. After 10 years of living with this, the time had come to eliminate this from my life or at least reduce its impact. I felt quite open about how it might effect me.
I contacted the therapist and arranged to see her. I had no idea of what to actually expect. She was kind and understanding but not too enquiring. On the day, I was asked a series of questions but she did not actually need to know what the cause of the trauma was. I was relieved as I did not want to re-live it again.
The therapy started and it was not long before I experienced a huge emotional release. I sobbed and sobbed. I couldn’t breathe. The therapist was patient and kind and just repeated the therapy again and again, each time asking me if I felt any different. I felt that layers of pain and damage were being cleared from me… it was incredible.
I experienced various techniques as part of the Psy Tap single session of which the final one was EMDR. It was quite evident that there was part of my range of vision that was “bumpy”. The information that my eyes processed on a moment by moment basis every day, used my “old” information to put me into a state of alert. The EMDR therapy showed this via feedback from my cerebral cortex which showed as “bumpy” eye activity and in my case, were strong enough to induce saccadic eye movements.
Dr James Alexander explains:
The brain is especially geared towards remembering events and information which are essential for survival, such that the details of a dangerous or traumatic situation are likely to be well consolidated in a rapid manner. The experiential components relating to a traumatic or dangerous event are important pieces of information which the brain will latch on to in order that the chances of surviving similar experiences in the future are enhanced. As such, traumatic memories can be stored in rich detail with the full emotional charge, as seen with PTSD
I now know that this is because my brain, through my eyes, was scanning for danger and this was shown as a “bumpy” area where my eyes did not move smoothly.
The therapist found these movements saccadic movements in one area of my vision. My eye movements did not flow. I had had no idea about this but it was so evident when the therapist found it. The monitoring of my eye movements were allowing me to connect with my memory without me having to relive it. Using various techiques, this was treated until my vision at all angles flowed smoothly. This was incredible.
My brain had been reprogrammed.
I was with this lovely therapist for nearly two hours. I left feeling that the whole of the weight of the world was off my shoulders for the first time in ages. However, I wasn’t sure whether this was a knee jerk reaction to the release of emotion that I had experienced or something new.
That first evening at home, I felt happier. Within a couple of days of the therapy, I was going away on holiday with family. It was good because I did not want to be analysing myself but as the same time, I wanted to know if I was really “better” or cleared from past nightmares.
I certainly felt content. I had regained my sense of humour. I was sleeping better. I no longer found the past at the forefront of my mind. I tried to think of the past but it did not appear as easily as before. It seemed far, far away and I actually had real difficulty thinking about it.
Whilst away with my husband, I experienced a real test. I volunteered to be in a situation where I had to take control, think for myself and be the best I could be. Previously, when I had tried, I just panicked as old memories came flooding back.
This time, there were no concerns. I felt freedom to be who I wanted to be. I took the responsibility of the task and relished the opportunity. This gave me confidence. I noticed that I was thinking differently: my thoughts made me who I was. These were happy, positive, constructive thoughts.
I realised that I was over the trauma. It has gone.