home.
i used to cringe at quotes that spoke about home being a person and not a place.
labeling it as an unhealthy amount of emotional dependence, i would internally scoff at those quotes.
well, until recently.
recently i’ve been attempting to be more mindful about how i’m feeling in the moment- emotionally.. physically..
(sounds like an elementary skill but it’s something that is actually difficult for me to do. perhaps the aftermath of living a majority of my life with self-care on the back burner. *refer to blogs about burnout if curiosity is spiked*)
what i have been finding in my feeble attempts at self-awareness however is that with certain people i truly do experience this feeling of “home” with them.
i feel at rest with them. i feel refreshed after being with them. i feel at ease. comfortable. like i can be myself. like i could run around barefoot and with mismatched clothes on. like i don’t have to wear a mask or act like i have it all together. i can just freely be however i’m feeling in that moment. and most importantly i feel safe.
for someone who is a highly analytical, usually stuck in their head, recovering perfectionist who has a load of anxious trait patterns, this is a breath of fresh air.
so dear everyone who has ever mentioned the metaphor of a person being home, i sincerely apologize for the quick judgement :)
and for everyone who makes me feel at home. thank you. it’s one of the greatest gifts.
