We’re going to get through this together

One woman falls off a chair and pulls the dining table cloth as her friends awkwardly try to help her.
One woman falls off a chair and pulls the dining table cloth as her friends awkwardly try to help her.
Photo: Betsie Van der Meer/Stone/Getty Images

We fart by accident while we’re laughing; we fart by accident while we’re coughing. Tampons fly from our purses and we try to sign receipts with them; the dog barfs right into the middle of a dinner party. We ask after the health of relatives whose funerals we attended not that long ago. We welcome new folks to the neighborhood only to find out they’ve been living next door to us for years. “You look vaguely familiar — do we know each other?” we say, to the person who turns out to be Lou Reed, who turns out to be…


The 5 things you need to do so you don’t end up hating everyone

Credit: SolStock/Getty

Houseguests, especially the type of houseguests who show up en masse around the holidays, can be a lot like dogs. They’re needy and thirsty and occasionally smelly; they’re constantly underfoot; they’re a weird combination of skittish and demanding. If it were socially acceptable, you’d give them a bone and tell them to go lie down and relax for a minute. “Bed!” you might say. “Go to your bed!”

But it’s not socially acceptable. And unlike dogs, houseguests complain about how they were broiling all night or freezing. They loiter in the kitchen flinging around their inquisitive cooking judgments — “Why…

Catherine Newman

Catherine Newman is the author of the memoirs Waiting for Birdy and Catastrophic Happiness, as well as the forthcoming book for kids: How to Be a Person.

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