The Difference between Sexuality and Gender
“Sexuality is who you go to bed with, and gender identity is who you go to bed as. It’s the simplest way I can describe it.” — Brendan Jordan
Sexuality and gender: notions we talk about all the time, but actually have a foggy idea of. A few definitions could be an excellent starting point to discuss the difference between them.
These straightforward definitions by ReachOut clarify things: by gender, we mean “your sense of who you are as a guy, girl or something else, as opposed to what your physical characteristics, genes, and hormones indicate.” On the other hand, the notion of sexuality corresponds to “who you’re attracted to sexually and romantically.”
The difference is quite clear, isn’t it? Yet, most people tend to lump them together. The difference between gender and sexuality goes far beyond the simple etymological and sensical aspect and lays on different grounds.
First of all, the continuity. Sexuality can change, evolve over time. It might be affected by numerous factors and events you’ll encounter throughout your life. Those changes can be permanent or temporary, but this is undeniable proof of the apparent lack of a link between gender and sexuality. For example, it is common, if not ordinary, for a teenager to question their sexual identity when going through puberty.
The second factor that needs to be taken into account is the cultural one. Sadly, there is still a *norm* of being straight. Yet, heteronormativity hasn’t always been the norm. The word “homosexuality” itself was created in 1868!! The term was invented as part of an argument that it was a natural trait, and a matter of private behavior, not of the law.
While discrimination against those outside of the cisgender, heterosexual “norm” was prevalent in the Western World, that was not always true, nor in all places. This dichotomic view, which is, let’s admit it, deeply linked to the history of religions, did not even exist before that and still doesn’t in many societies in both Africa, South America and Asia. Let’s take a few examples to illustrate this. In parts of the Eastern world, especially in the Ottoman Empire, this “difference” just didn’t exist. In Ancient Greece, men used to marry women but, like training, were mentored by older men to teach them how to actually act like a man — including in matters of love and sexual life. Now there is a tidbit I bet you didn’t realize.
So, once again, even if some people still assume so, no, there simply is no link between gender and sexuality! Let’s oppose those assumptions.
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This article was originally published at http://lifecoachingbycatherine.com/the-difference-between-sexuality-and-gender
To read more of my thoughts on lifecoaching, happiness, and LGBTQ related topics, go to http://lifecoachingbycatherine.com/blog .