Why does sexuality come into the question of gender?
Today, in all aspects of our lives, under all kinds of circumstances, people tend to assume things. They take things for granted and subconsciously create a frame that, over time, formats our minds and way of thinking.
This is particularly true when it comes to sexuality and gender. When assumptions are made about these topics, it creates misconceptions. These misconceptions are what creates misunderstanding, discrimination, or even hatred. To fight this and finally have real equality in society, these assumptions need to stop. Remember what your mom used to say? Assume only makes an ASS out of U M E (You and me).
Yes, some smaller minds still assume. Yet, we are paving the road to a better understanding and acceptance of every human. Much has already changed since the 1980’s, when homosexuality or gender dysphoria hid in the shadows. It seemed then quite typical to assume that men were only attracted to women and vice versa. Thankfully, that assumption is on its way out the damn door!
We feel a need to label and classify everything. We put ourselves and others into boxes. This needs to stop.
In the past, initiatives like National Coming Out Day were super necessary. It is understandable that members of the LGBT community felt the need to affirm themselves as such, to revendicate their rights as gay, trans, pan, gender fluid… as themselves. Yet, it could be argued that defining ourselves by our sexuality, whatever it may be, is not the next step towards equality, and may even be counter-productive. When is the last time you met somebody who told you “Hey! My name is X, and I’m straight! Glad to meet you!”. It rarely, even never happens, does it?
Today, these labels seem irrelevant to the reality. A recent study has shown that “almost half of the young people aged between 18 and 24 in the UK do not consider themselves exclusively gay or straight. Instead, they identify with more ‘open-minded’ definitions”. Indeed, they viewed themselves as neither “100% heterosexual” nor “100% homosexual”. Moreover, some of them declared that their attraction towards others could vary over time, and that, in the end, they didn’t see the point in announcing their sexuality, except if they were in a serious relationship. In their own words, “Whom I have relationships with, whom I sleep with, is almost completely irrelevant to how I’d like people to interact with me.”
In the same thought process, gender isn’t merely a pink box for girls and a blue one for boys. But the solution isn’t only to create more boxes, with more colors!
And herein lies society’s roadblock. The way forward is acceptance, for every single one of us. If we were to stop defining ourselves by being straight, gay, bi, lesbian, trans, pan, gender fluid, or other labels, what would that leave? Humans/people/us. Because the very idea of “normalcy” means there is an “outside the norm,” and creates enormous gaps. We need to ONLY identify ourselves as humans who all have unique characteristics and differences. We need to look at ourselves as being in a big box, where we all can fit, in peace, no matter who we are or who we want to sleep with. This box should be what we call humanity.
I can’t wait for the day when October 11th is another day in the calendar. I can’t wait for the day when being gay, or straight, or anything else you want to be, won’t DEFINE us, but will only be a part of us. I can’t wait for the day when the notion of being “trans”-gender will seem meaningless, when we will stop assuming so much based on the body you were born with.
I can’t wait for REAL EQUALITY. We need to stop making assumptions that create differences between us. Hell, wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t see any differences? Just other people. This is where real equality starts.
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This article was originally published at http://lifecoachingbycatherine.com/why-does-sexuality-come-into-the-question-of-gender/
To read more of my thoughts on lifecoaching, happiness, and LGBTQ related topics, go to http://lifecoachingbycatherine.com/blog .