How to Break a Human

The Cruelty of Children and Adults We Never Unlearn

Step One: Unfriend your co-worker on Facebook, but don’t tell them (duh)

Step Two: Start laughing hysterically with the other co-workers in the room about something she found on Facebook, and share it with them. On Facebook, and in the room.

Step Three: Go from desk to desk of the other co-workers showing off the Funniest Thing You Just Found and shared with them, on Facebook. Make a big show of excluding the person you unfriended, while being over-the-top cheerful about the thing the group shares in common (but not her, dear one, not her)

Step Four: Watch with glee as this person you clearly hate, but who really had no issue with you until you started expressing your hatred of her, shrinks to the size of a toddler in her brain, and barely holds back tears as she tries to get her work done without letting on how much this hurts.

Step Five: Act shocked when said hurt co-worker finds the gumption to name the game, and points out that that was insensitive, (since that’s what mature grown-up people are supposed to do). It’s not about the social media , the unfriending— it is about the in-your-face rejection. Tell said “hurt” co-worker that she is too sensitive, and needs to stop thinking it’s all about her.