I am also 49, and looking down the barrel of 50, if I can be allowed to abuse that metaphor; it is too apt not to. Perhaps it is because we are the same age, or, more likely, it is because you have a way of connecting with your words, I feel I can relate to so much of what you are saying. This despite the fact that my life path has not been close to that of yours — we all find ourselves “starting over” in our own ways, and as I approach 50, I feel that I, like so many of us, need our codes. It is as if we work our whole lives to find it, and then are able to finally swim out with our new-found objectives for ourselves. Thank you for sharing this.