True colors.

In regards to the multiple medium posts I read today about women and sexual harassment in the Valley — I’d like to offer some personal stories that I usually am fearful to share with the public.

1) On the eve of starting my company and seeking out investor feedback on the idea, I reached out to a male angel investor whom I met at a startup panel speaker event. I reached out to him for coffee and he suggested we meet for dinner. The first dinner was very normal and he gave me his opinions on the idea — though he didn’t believe in what I wanted to do, he didn’t exhibit any negative behavior. I tried to digest his feedback and went home thinking he’s a great person. Then he sent me a facebook message to ask me out for drinks on a Friday night. I agreed because I thought he was open to share more of his experience founding his own company and friendly chat. When I showed up, he asked me to order alcohol even though I told him I don’t drink. Then in the randomest way possible, he put his hands on my thigh and said “I find you very attractive and I would like us to get to know each other better.” I was obviously shocked and taken back- I have never ever been touched like that in a public setting in a semi-formal conversation. He was an angel investor to me and I thought we were there to talk about business. After that I brushed off his suggestions with I’m too busy but he insisted on “you never know until we start to date.” I wondered whether this is borderline sexual harassment or whether he is one of those entrepreneurs who just didn’t know how to talk to women in a respectful way.

2) I had a friend who I talked to regularly about my startup endeavors. On one of the nights we talked about my strategies, he blurted out “man you have such an amazing idea! Though the only way for you to succeed though is by you giving up the CEO title and let a guy who looks the part run the company.”

3) at a New York Thomson Reuters conference with attendance from top fintech entrepreneurs and VCs, I encountered a gentleman who initially talked to me and thought I was the assistant to my company CEO. Actually this has happened so many times that I unfortunately sometimes help perpetuate the stereotype — I would let someone talk to me without asking any detail “I would love to find out more about your company! Sounds very interesting. Can you connect me with your CEO? Is he in the area this week?” And because I didn’t want to lose the lead, I sometimes would just not pass them my business card and have my male business development manager to follow up with them. On this occasion, the gentleman represented a renowned stock exchange and upon finding out about our business, commented “sounds like a great venture. But sorry for being blunt — you are just a girl with an idea!” He laughed loudly and walked away talking to some more men who looked like himself.

4) In the first year of founding my company, I participated in a local pitch event and met renowned Bay Area angel investors. One of them was actually a seasoned Tech executive who was Asian American himself. I wanted to share with him my business plan but he only wanted me to brief him with my “elevator pitch.” Perhaps I didn’t do a good job summarizing, after 1 min of listening to me, he stopped me in mid sentence and told me straight in the eye “you are just too young and naive.” I used all my might to stop the tear that was about to emerge and said calmly: “___, do you mind if I walk you through my business plan again with more background information?” And I proceeded to do so. After a 30 min discussion, he agreed it was a good plan and wished me luck with my venture and fundraising.

5) As many founders have experienced, finding a co founder is hard. I had experienced many instances where a male candidate whom I have reached out to for a coffee chat about working together directly told me “I don’t want to work with you. But why don’t we go on a date?” Luckily, I found someone who is 10 years older than me and believed in what we are trying to do at MarketX. However, during one pitch event we had with a female venture capitalist, after I had left the meeting, the female VC advised my then co founder to leave me because “I wouldn’t trust her because she’s a young female founder.”

I’m not writing to complain about misfortunes that had happened to me. I’m writing because I have met many young girls who have courageously came up to me and said “Cathryn, I would love to do what you do one day. It’s great to see a young female founder paving the way for us.” Thank you! To many of you who didn’t know, your words meant so much to me and you are the reason why I kept pushing forward with MarketX. So to all the people who have experienced doubt or discrimination because you are a young(or look young), female, and ethnic founder — I want to tell you: the road is going to be hard but fight on!