Fallen anarchist or quiet lobbyist?

It would be really easy to spend my most of my day in a state of extreme anger and frustration. I could have steam coming from my ears, my jaw sore from clenching hard and my blood pressure rising so high leading to a very red face.

I could shout and scream, hurl abuse at those who make the decisions and stamp my feet. I could revert to type and start campaigning in an anarchistic manner just like I did when I chained myself to the fence at Greenham Common in the 80's.

Why am I simmering deep inside? If you need to ask that question, I want to tell you to open your eyes and actually see what is around you. But I don’t. Because that would be unfair. How are you supposed to know what I feel, if my world doesn’t touch yours?

All my blogs seem to be related to my job in the homelessness sector which makes sense as I spend more awake time at work than at home – I make no apologies and maybe you can get a sense of my passion – I hope so, as I am committed to improving the lives of those I support.

This passion directed calmly can move mountains but when I let that boiling cauldron erupt, I can damage any previous good work. So I keep it down and ground myself. I have learned to play the game. Friends who still consider themselves activists say I have sold out, joined the establishment and lost sight of the cause.

I don’t believe this to be true. In my heart of hearts I am still an activist but now I’m a quiet one. Why have I moved away from my roots you may ask. I reply by confirming that my roots remain firmly planted - I am choosing to campaign in a different way as my former efforts didn’t seem to be working.

I’ve realised I have written six paragraphs without explaining why I feel the way I do – apologies, I have an annoying habit of wandering off on a tangent.

My issue is homelessness and I could start talking about housing policies past and present, about how society turns away from those deemed not worthy etc. But anyone enlightened knows this and so I won’t bother to regurgitate the same old stuff.

I am angry because in 2016 no one should be without a home. It is wrong.

I have given up shouting like a teenager as it doesn’t seem to have changed anything. However, I will never give up advocating on my clients behalf or stop challenging the system. Now I choose to lobby in a quieter way for no other reason than it seems to work.

By going in quietly, I’ve discovered I am more likely to be heard. In the past, my bull in a china shop approach got me noticed but not much more. I annoyed people apparently, and in defence, they would raise the drawbridge and close ranks. If I didn’t make changes in my approach I was in danger of proving the saying right: ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got’.

I haven’t morphed into a shrinking violet, I am still direct in my approach and say what needs to be said but now, I feel listened to. I use reason and evidence to back up my narrative and my reward is change.

I’m am not saying that other, more direct forms of campaigning don’t work, just that they weren’t working for me. I guess it’s a case of deciding what works for you and trying it out.

Anyway, although the anger doesn’t completely leave me, it has reduced. Not because the homelessness issue has improved – it hasn’t. But because I have realised that anger as a driving force can be destructive and get in the way of the cause along with being incredibly tiring.

I have accepted the reality that I’m not going to end homelessness on my own but I can be influential by working with others and making small changes which make a difference. I don’t feel like I’ve sold out, I still hold the same views – I just voice them in a different way.