BP and self harm

Warning, there will be some self harming triggers in this article.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Bipolar and self harm. I’m going through a “ rough patch” and have recently started cutting again after 15 years of abstaining.

Going through what I’m going through my first instinct is to go to my secondary caregiver, aka the internet and do some research. I’m fortunate enough to also have a real life primary caregiver. He just doesn’t have hours to talk about my new hobby.

It all started during a bad manic phase, not the happy…


I’ve been struggling through a depressive phase for the last 18+ months. I’m so used to being stuck in this deep depression, where there’s little room for feelings of any kind, when I do suddenly feel a feeling I’m not quite sure what to do with it. And to be perfectly honest pretty much every feeling I have on the rare occasion I have one, freaks me out.

I finally started tracking my moods about 6 weeks ago. I’ve tried a few mood charts with no success; what I’m doing now is just writing a couple of lines in the…


It grips my shoulders holding me close, whispering in my ear like a lover. This is where you belong, nothing else is real. They’re not real. Not a memory just a dream. A fantasy you created in a futile attempt to leave me. It’s just us, it’s always only been us.

Peek through the shutters if you must, at that world that never was. Stare hard until you see through it, until you see before and after that place. Until you see it was always only us.

I was always with you. Every time you closed your eyes searching, I…


I am bipolar and have spent the last year and a half struggling with a major depressive episode. A few months ago, I attended my company’s mental health event. I was eager to hear what our corporate culture is when it comes to mental health, I wasn’t disappointed. There were great speakers and information about how to access our company’s mental health resources.

The speaker who struck home for me was the man who lost his son to suicide. I too lost a son to suicide. After the profound loss of losing a child he became a suicide prevention advocate…

Cathy Harman

Professional, bipolar, occasional writer; trying to figure it all out.

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