BLACK FRIDAY MY WAY

Virgil

My Black Friday will begin like that of many other humans. The alarm will go off at 4 a.m. urging me to drag my mashed potato and gravy filled body from the comfort of my bed. The difference is that my clock is a cat.

Boris, AKA King Destructive, begins his day before the sun rises by meowing incessantly in multiple octaves then leaping behind the window blinds. After warming up his vocal cords he catapults from behind the bent and fur covered blinds and lands his 19 pound form onto my shoulder, chest, or back. I usually growl “be quiet” and dramatically throw the covers over my head.

Whiskey

Whiskey snores curled up next to me joyfully oblivious that Boris and little Virgil are even alive. The annoying one will keep up with his Mariah Carey vocal skills until I threaten him with stories of cats who live outside and don’t get canned food.

Virgil is that shopper thats cuts everyone off as if they are the only person with things to do. He spends his mornings zipping up and down the bedspread with his claws out playing the tune to Jingle Bells with pinholes being created and torn on my sheet with the trsschht sound velcro makes. On occasion, he will walk up my hip to my shoulder and purr lovingly in my ear but dart away if I try to pet him.

When I do finally get out of bed instead of rushing off for a day of standing in line with hundreds of others hoping to get one of three in stock 50 % off iPads or drastically reduced Lady Schick razors, I will spend the day doing Black Friday my way, playing with three black cats.

During this day of shopping frenzy with Christmas carols blaring, credit card friction burns and people shoving carts where they don’t belong, there is gift that will warm your heart for years to come. Many animal shelters and rescue organizations waive or reduce adoption fees on Black Friday for animals with black fur.

Boris

I say put down that best boss coffee mug, toss aside that juicer Aunt Matilda will only use for a week, and for God’s sake how many different salt and pepper shakers does your grandmother need. Check in with your local shelter and get in line for a doorbuster that really matters — that of a cage door busting open releasing the purest example you will ever find of unconditional love. Please, adopt don’t shop this holiday season.

Psst… If you are going to take part in traditional Black Friday fanfare, Whiskey wants treats, Virgil wants the entire cat toy aisle at Pet Smart, and Boris wants the living room to be turned into a giant cat tree and condo. He has removed the blinds and clawed his way through the arm of the couch to help with construction. He is such a giver.

Follow Whiskey, Boris and Virgil on Facebook at Facebook.com/catnoircc and on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/catnoircc/. No one is sure where the human can be found.

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Cat herder, writer, editor, journalist, lover of cheese, potato chip connoisseur, condiment queen. Founder of CatNoirCC.com, a humorist blog for cat lovers.

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Theresa-Marie Wilson

Theresa-Marie Wilson

Cat herder, writer, editor, journalist, lover of cheese, potato chip connoisseur, condiment queen. Founder of CatNoirCC.com, a humorist blog for cat lovers.

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