On Being Quiet

I was sitting in my living room, reading a novel which i borrowed from a friend of mine, i like the story, i was so drawn to it that i didn’t get so aware about my surroundings, it was all fine and calm, couldn’t ask for more, but then voices from a bunch of men slowly filling up the living room that has been quiet and nice,

my brother’s friends were coming over.

I keep reading but i couldn’t stop my ears from hearing what they were saying because they saying it loudly,

let’s sit here!” one of them said. I assumed they decided to sit in my terrace, which a few feet’s apart from where i read the book, so i went back to the book until one of them walked in and greet me,

hey! what are you doing?” with smile on his face. I smiled, didn’t say a thing, then lifted my book higher until it covered my face,

oh! enjoy, let me use the bathroom, okay?” he smiled again then went to the bathroom as he said.

As i exhaled, i tried to read my book again, but i had not finished a paragraph yet, he walked out,

“it’s Saturday night, you don’t hang out with friends?”, he asked,

no, i want to finish this book.” i replied, tried to smile, awkwardly.

Oh, i see, you are so quiet, you are not like your other sister.” he said it without any hesitation or thinking the impact of it to me.

My sister is an outgoing person, she can always speaks her mind and has her action together, you will like her as soon you start talking to her.

And here’s me, a reserved person that will avoid eye contacts because she can’t stand it or she will get nervous until her head get hurts.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not looking down at myself, just telling the truth.

As i thought about what he said, i also wondered about his face when saying it, it wasn’t a happy face and it got me wonder why he wasn’t happy about it.

Being quiet doesn’t mean being shy, in grief or sorrowful, even mad or angry, it’s totally different, here are some reasons why i am being so :

  1. I don’t have anything important to say.
  2. I don’t think you are ready to hear my thoughts.
  3. I don’t want to talk to you.
  4. I’m not in the mood for “small talks”.
  5. Just appreciating the silence, you know.

(P.s. some people’s reasons may be vary, peace out!)

You know what? Frankly, i’ve been wondering that do i have to be bold to be a big person? i went to a bookstore not long time ago and i saw some book’s with titles, “How to Influence People”, “How to Win People” and other bs. Most of the book’s simply stating you have to be such a shiny bold person.

I don’t think i’m going to be a big person if society works like that .

I like rain, but i’m not like rain, i’m not the kind of person that you will notice on how it appears or how it’s coming.

I’m like the water that slowly absorbed by the soil after rain, you will solely notice me if i do something with definite outcome,

but hey i’m doing good, i’m doing good.

:)

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