Success is 2 Parts Mindset, 1 Part Faith; Here’s How to Get the Equation Right the First Time
“Someone once told me the definition of hell: on your last day on earth, the person you could have become will meet the person you became.” — Unknown
Basically my mantra for my whole life was:
- When I’m thinner, I’ll be happy/beautiful/worthy
- When I learn EVERYTHING I can about business, or chasing wild dreams, I’ll be able to create my own dreams
- When I have more money, I’ll finally be able to travel/quit my job/become a writer
I was living for tomorrow. Consuming as much information as I could today in hopes that my “one day” would be right around the corner.
Most people do this. Most of us believe that the person we are right now, in this moment, as you’re reading these words, is NOT the person they need to be to accomplish great things.
That idyllic version of you lives somewhere in the future, and they’re thin, can rock a damn good set of shoulder pads, and drink bubbly from coupe glasses on their private jet.
In your mind, they’re another person entirely.
For most people, that idyllic version of YOU stays just that: an ideal, just a model to strive for, never to be lived.
So how do we connect the dots from current us, to badass, future us?
It’s surprisingly simple in thinking, but a little harder in process.
Being “Not Ready” = “Not Good Enough”
If you believe you’re not ready to have your dreams, you’re telling your subconscious that you’ll never be good enough for them. Which means you’ll never go from “dreamer” to “doer.”
The whole mindset of “I’ll be good enough when I’m _____” is a losing game. When we live from this place, it’s almost a guarantee that we will die living from this place, never accomplishing our dreams.
Most people will reach the end of their lives believing they were never the person who deserved their dreams. How disappointing is that?
Let me ask you this: if you’re not good enough to achieve anything as you are now, how can you expect to become the person you want to be when you’re always living from this place of “I’m not good enough”?
The Mindset of Success Doesn’t Start With “Having”
Benjamin Hardy, the top writer on Medium and a PhD candidate in Motivation Psychology, describes the “Be > Do > Have” mindset of success.
In order to Have the life/career/relationship you want, you first have to Be the person that has those things. Then, you’ll Do the things a person that has those things does and then the magic happens: you end up Having the life/career/relationships you wanted in the first place.
As Ben explains, most people do it the opposite way: they believe they first must Have something before they can Be whatever it is they want to be. This keeps you permanently stuck in the “somedays.” competing for average like the majority of society.
The point is you need to be the person that has the life you want right now, in whatever form that manifests in you. Which is a matter of mindset.
When you switch your mindset from “I am not the person that has the life I want to live” to “I am the person that has the success I seek, right now, as I am,” a switch flips and you start operating from the mindset of your ideal you. You start Doing the things that person does, and then start attracting and earning that life you want to Have.
My switch was flipped when I signed up for a career-writing course and I suddenly saw myself as a writer and coach that makes $10k per month.
I undoubtedly knew I was that person, right now. Without losing weight, making more money, or being any assortment of things we all think we have to be before we make our dreams come true. I just started being the person that has those things, which is just myself but with a different frame of mind.
My mindset switched.
But if it was easy to switch your mindset, we’d all be self-made millionaires.
So how do you switch your mindset?
“It’s lonely at the top. Ninety-nine percent of people in the world are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for the mediocre.” — Timothy Ferriss
Usually this comes in the form of a financial commitment, a blank slate, and a do-or-die situation.
My mindset switch was a combo of all three:
- I paid a good chunk of change for a writing course (financial commitment),
- I quit my job and shipped off to the Costa Rican jungle for 3 months (blank slate),
- And did I mention I quit my job with no guarantees of making money (do-or-die)?
1. Financial Commitment
Every dollar you spend is a vote. A vote to either maintain the current life you live, or invest in something new.
I could have used the money I spent on the writing course to buy new clothes or dinners out, but instead I made the conscious commitment to invest in myself and the life I want to have.
The very act of committing my hard-earned money to the life I want to have was a mindset switch: I decided that I was the person who invests in classes, coaches and courses to be a better writer, marketer and coach.
Investing in personal growth is what people at the top of their fields do. They don’t see it as a luxury, but rather a necessity to their success and forward progression. And they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars per year on their personal growth. It’s not optional.
Do: Save for and invest in your dream. The dreams you want to have require you to learn, innovate and develop the person you are now. You don’t become a better you by hoping, you do it by learning how to be that person from the people that have done it for themselves.
2. A Blank Slate
Our daily habits and routines dictate the future we have. Every day adds up to the rest of your life.
Is your daily routine supporting the current life you’re trying to change, or is it supporting the future life of your dreams?
It’s important to make this distinction. For instance: if you’re trying to lose weight, staying up late every night and being too tired to wake up to go to the gym before work supports your current life of being overweight.
What daily habits are keeping you from your dream life? Once you establish those, you want to try and create, what I call, a blank slate.
The first most powerful blank slate I ever experienced was not my choice. After I graduated college, I lost my job, ended a relationship and had to move back home. I had nothing, I didn’t even know what things I liked to do anymore.
It was a powerful moment. I envisioned how I wanted my life to look and feel, and then created new habits and routines to support the life I wanted. I literally took out a blank art pad and wrote out the life I dreamed of. The blank sheet of paper was reflective of the blank slate of my life.
I ended up losing 30lbs, starting a fitness routine, and being an entirely different version of the person I was for years.
The second blank slate that changed my life is the one I’m currently living. I quit my job, and I moved to Costa Rica for 3 months. I’m writing this from a terrace in the jungle canopy, there are monkeys howling and waves breaking in the distance. It’s magic.
I picked myself up and out of the habits and routines that were keeping my life stagnant, and put myself in an entirely new life in which I could create new habits and routines that support my dreams of being a writer and life coach.
Do: Create blank slates in your life to become whoever it is you want to be. It doesn’t have to be drastic, like quitting your job. The point is removing yourself from routines and habits that keep you stuck in place, and creating new ones that allow you to manifest your dreams. Erase the things that don’t serve your highest purpose, so you can fill in the ones that do.
3. Do-or-Die Situations
This is the fire under your ass kind of situation, and it usually manifests itself in the form of money.
Either you invest a chunk of change in yourself, or you create a very real blank slate, like quitting your job. Everyone’s situation is different, and not everyone wants or has the option of leaving their job — that’s your call and I can’t tell you if it’s a good choice or not.
But for me, I simply wasn’t making any progress on my dream life when I had the comfort of a full time job. I personally operate best when I create big change and have to fend for myself. I’m bullheaded and driven, but only when there’s risk and disturbance to my routine.
You might operate differently, and that’s fine. The point is to add a layer of risk to your goals. Whether that means publicly committing to your dreams on Facebook, or putting some money on the line with the website Go Fucking Do It.
Do whatever makes you feel like you’re about to jump off a cliff. The kind of nervous that you can feel in your sternum, that makes your hands shake, but also puts a huge ‘f*ck-ya’ grin on your face.
Do: Risk something in your current life in order to light a fire under your ass to achieve your dreams. There is no reward without risk.
Once you’ve entered into the Be mindset, there’s one last thing you need to understand:
The Mindset of Success is High-Vibing
“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.” — Gabrielle Bernstein
The idea of faith and spirituality applies to all aspects of life, especially in terms of manifesting your dreams.
Being successful is two fold:
- Doing the practical things every day to get you into the Be mentality, as described above, and
- Having unshakeable faith that the stars will align and the Universe will conspire for your success.
This might sound Woo-Woo, but I promise it’s Practical Woo-Woo.
Having faith in the Universe to help manifest your dreams puts you into a higher mental state, and also takes a little weight off your back. When you believe that the Universe is conspiring for your success, it steels your confidence and helps you to roll with the punches.
There are certain things you’re just never going to be able to manipulate or control. Those are the things we need to leave to the Universe to sort out, and we must have unwavering faith that it will.
Even if what we think we want doesn’t end up panning out: we always ask “for this, or something better.”
The Universe is an incredible thing to be a part of, and when we change our mindset to a “doer,” we raise our energy level to meet the Universe halfway. It allows beautiful things to flow freely into your life to help you manifest the things you want.
High-Vibing Case Study:
I was hopeless for 3 years trying to find my passion, my calling, my purpose, or just a job that didn’t make me want to smash my face on a wall every day.
I jumped from one thing to the next, started and never finished a cocktail event catering service, learned coding, copy-writing and photography, researched making cocktail bitters, becoming a wine expert. . .you name it, I probably drafted out a rough business plan for it.
I filled art pads with business ideas, names, customer demographics, marketing ideas. I bought domain names. I built websites.
But I didn’t follow through with anything and as the years ticked by my anxiety and hopelessness ticked up.. I thought about just settling on being a content coordinator for the rest of my life (as was my profession at the time), but would lay awake at night haunted by what that would mean and the dreams I would potentially be giving up.
- Traveling whenever I damn well please, thank you very much
- Making MORE money with my skills than an employer is willing to pay me
- Living my most creative life everyday, not just before and after work, or when I have time
Basically, my previous life felt like digging holes in the sand, I was exerting a ton of effort but to what end?
Then I said fuck it.
I realized that my business idea hopping, shame and self-loathing could only be symptoms of one thing: a complete and utter disconnection from myself.
Essentially, I had a quarter life crisis. #Yay.
So I stopped seeking the career I wanted and started seeking myself. I tuned out all the noise, and tuned into my intuition. I started trying to love who I was right now, in hopes it would lead me to the person I was desperately trying to create.
And then a funny thing happened.
The Universe plopped an opportunity in my lap: to quit my job, and live in Costa Rica for 3 months. While, at the same time a career-writing course was being offered by one of my favorite authors, and started a few days prior to me arriving in the jungle.
A few other details lined out and the path to my future dreams was illuminated, where once there was only darkness, guessing and useless pining.
When I decided that I was exactly who I needed to be for my dreams to come true right now by tuning into myself, I raised my energy and met the Universe halfway. The rest is sweet synchronicity.
When you tell yourself you’re not good enough right now to have the things you want, you’re basically telling the Universe you’re not worthy of its abundance.
Think of the Universe like a bank. You go into Bank of the Universe and need a big ‘ole loan to start a business. You fill out all the paperwork and then meet with the loan officer and before you even know it, you’re blurting out:
“I don’t know, I don’t really believe I can make this thing work, I mean, I’ve never done it before, I have zero experience with this stuff. I really don’t like myself right now anyways, all I can think about is how lazy and unmotivated I am.”
And then the loan officer has that glued-on-smile of someone who is incredibly uncomfortable, and you wrap up the sob-fest by asking them for a $100,000 loan.
Are you surprised when they deny you? No. Because you don’t believe you can pull it off, so the Universe doesn’t either. And it’s going to invest all it’s abundant goodness in someone else.
That’s faith. That’s how you team up with the Universe and make shit happen.
Success is 2 parts mindset and hard work, and 1 part faith.
Wishing for your future self is as effective as, well wishing.
Be a doer, darling, you already have all the tools in your belt. Your future self is you, right now.
And the sooner you understand that the sooner you can be drinking bubbly and eating tacos in your shoulder-padded pantsuit on a private jet in the sky.
Make massive change in your life by figuring out how you want it to FEEL every day. I created a 10 minute audio exercise to plug you into your authentic self, so you can start living the life you want today 👇