Earlier this evening, while defecating, I learned that you would most likey be the next president of United States. As I am writing today from the Liberal Elite Enclave of the San Francisco Bay Area, you are right to assume that I have not been a supporter of your campaign.

Like most educated and rational people I know, I found your bigoted, misogynistic, xenophobic, anti-semitic bluster an abhorrent and disgusting appeal to the darkest of human instincts. Good and great American women, immigrants, and non-whites, my friends and colleagues and loved ones, are rightly fearful of the dark implications of…