Online Dating: Do or Die
How dating apps have made me crazy.
When you think about dating in the 21st century, what comes to mind?
Remember all the rom -com movies where our protagonist meets their future love — by bumping into them in the middle of the street — and it’s love at first sight? Or being set up by friends? Or being picked up at a bar?
The possibilities seem endless for how you will just naturally run into your future lover without even trying. And for a while I believed that this might happen to me. It seemed like people not even looking for a relationship would just stumble upon their partner in some completely random and unexpected way.
And I am sure that for some people this is true, but for me it seems like a myth. I have struggled meeting people ‘naturally’ when I am actively looking for a relationship. Let alone bumping into someone when I am not even seeking it out.
So I turned to the most logical solution in the 21st century: Dating apps.
I will preface this by saying that these are nine times out of ten not the way to go when looking for a serious relationship. But that didn’t stop me from trying.
So I set out creating profiles on several apps. Tinder for hookups. OkCupid for something more serious. Hinge to find ‘the one’.
Turns out my analysis of these apps was a little off. ALL of these apps were for hookups and little more.
And for a while that was enough for me.
What I really wanted was a boyfriend, but I found it fun and exciting going on first dates and having sex with strangers. Call me a slut, (or a player if I was a dude, I know sexism is amazing) I think sleeping around is fun.
I would joke around with my boss about it (we had a rather inappropriate relationship). He would say, “So did you fuck again last night?” every shift we were working. And I would tell him all about my latest conquests.
I have so many stories about the random dudes I was sleeping with, I could write a book. The one who couldn’t get hard and then his roommate walking in on us. The guy who wanted me to lick his asshole. The dude who I snuck into my apartment (I wasn’t allowed to bring visitors) who left immediately after he came.
And then there were the relationships that came from these apps. Yes, you heard that right, actual relationships that came out of a dating app. Each weirder than the last.
My ex-fiancé threatened to commit suicide when I broke up with him when it wasn’t working out. Who transitioned to female a months later.
A guy I was dating for a couple months who never wanted to commit to the relationship because he obviously just wanted to continue sleeping around with other girls. The same dude who gave me a book for Christmas on “how to pleasure men”. I shit you not. This was the guy who scratched my back during sex and then the next day admitted to me that he had “scratched my mole off by accident”.
Possibly the only normal relationship I had was in France for a couple months with an actually normal guy. Shocking, I know.
Long story short, dating apps have left me with many wild stories that my friends listen to and almost look forward to. “Your life is so wild, Charlotte!”
Is it though? Or is it just a sign from the universe that dating apps have led to little more than crazy experiences. But nothing real and lasting.
In a day and age where we can literally filter out and swipe right on the one we think we want, we are almost always left unfulfilled.
So is it better to sit and wait for that accidental bump in with your Prince Charming? Or should I continue looking for that one out of ten man actually who’s normal on a dating app?
Do or die.
