Valentine’s Day 2017

February 14th wasn’t a day that held much memories for Mayokun. Every year, except the previous one, St. Valentine had found Mayokun wanting.

And this year would be no exception. As he sat, staring at his laptop screen, sieving through his emails, he couldn’t help but feel like Jumia.com was mocking him;

“Let’s help you spice things up”


Reading Imade’s blog; he couldn’t help but see the warning signs.

She was his type. But Toyin had left him smarter, wiser.

Now he knew that girls like her ate guys like him alive; soft-sensitive guys whose unkept beards were the only thing rugged about them.

Girls that came in modest, bespectacled packages.

Girls who sheepishly hid their luscious curves. And “flattened” their ample bosoms just enough for boys like Mayokun to notice that they were hiding something.

Girls like her, brought out the man in boys like Mayokun; made them feel like they had spotted a “good one”.

A good girl, not a bad bitch.

Or even better; a good girl in the streets, a bad bitch in the sheets.

Girls like her had a little tom-boy in them.

Girls like her had experimented in secondary school;

under the staircase.

behind the lockers, after school.

While, boys like Mayokun did the homework that the boys they experimented with copied.

Girls like her were now Jesus’ little sister. And now adorned their wrists with wrist-bands inscribed with their churches “prophetic theme of the year”.

Next, to their “unisex” wristwatch, of course.

Girls like her had been “hurt” in the past.

And so, girls like her needed time to pray before taking “the next step”.

In the meantime, girls like her enjoyed the “friendship” of boys like Mayokun.

Eventually however, given much convincing, girls like her would agree to Mayokun’s courtship — under strict conditions, mind you.

And over time, after falling victim to emotional manipulation, time and time again, boys like Mayokun would start to grow cynical.

Mayokun’s heart would start to grow hard from abuse.

But, time and time again, Mayokun’s nature would betray him.

And Mayokun would find himself compromising and opening doors for Toyin like a “good guy” would.

Mayokun would start to resent his friends for telling him he had no control in his relationship.

And soon enough Mayokun would become scarce.

Omo guy u don scarce o.

Boys no dey even see your brake-light these days

Then finally it would happen, Mayokun and Toyin would get into a fight.

And this time, Mayokun would not compromise.

This time, Mayokun would abruptly walk away without turning back.

And the next time, Mayokun would sit-down to talk with Toyin; Toyin would thank Mayokun for a wonderful 8 months.

And tell him, how “perfect” he was.

And, voice how flawed she was.

Then Toyin would hope that she and Mayokun could still be friends.

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