A Love Letter to My Dog (s)

Dear Addie,

You’ll probably never read this because your a dog and you can’t read. I apologize for that lack of evolution for your species. I’m sure you would’ve been an avid reader, because you’ve grown into a super smart dog. Well at least super smart when you pay attention to me. But I digress.

I also want to apologize for naming you after an Emma Roberts character. This was before she was annoying and a domestic abuser to the greatness that is Evan Peters (American Horror Story for those ofyou reading this). I just really liked “Unfabulous” as a kid, so that name stuck with me.

I’m also sorry that my mother (your other human) thinks that your name is a white girl name even though you live with a black family. I’m sure you’ve had many telepathic conversations with her about my choice of name. It’s ok. I named the dog we had before you “Fluffy” because…well…he was fluffy. Especially for a Yorkie.

I wish you could’ve met Fluffy. He was like you in so many ways. The way you guys beg mommy and I for food and even in the way you guys protect us. He would’ve been a great companion. Hopefully not enough to get you pregnant. Wait, what am I saying. You guys were both fixed, so no child support payments would’ve needed to be cashed! Thank God. I don’t know how I would’ve been able to handle that situation. Regardless, I think…